Who have to write the first?

There is a typical statement that man don't reply if the woman writtes the first or even if he replys the connection anyway goes to its end soon. Is it normal the woman is active and writte the first? Do you wait or you prefer to make the first steps yourself?

I have written to 100 women over the years. Sometimes I used translator software or a dictionary and wrote in Russian. In each case I did my best to "sell myself" and explain what I was looking for. Some women answered, some did not. I think women should also take that initiative. If you don't, you will hear from very few men and they won't be the ones you would have picked. Now let me get personal for a moment. If you are as beautiful as a movie star (for instance, on the LoversPlanet Top 100 list) many men will see your profile and write to you. If you are less beautiful that a movie star you had better send some letters and see what happens. At the very least, you will get some letter writing practice that could be helpful later. Here's a sample letter a woman could send...
"Hi, my name is Nataly and I live in Omsk. My reason for being on LoversPlanet is to find a true love and best friend. This takes time, so I inviting you to consider my profile. I am a kind, loyal, hard-working, pretty and sincere lady -- sexy, too. If you respond in a positive and compatible way, I will write to you and not to other men. Please be as honest as you can and I will be honest with you. We will exchange pictures and talk about what we are looking for in a marriage, including private matters. I have a daughter/son who is X years old, and can only marry someone who is willing to be a good father. My daughter/son and I will be a good and obedient family for you. My English is poor but I am using software for this translation. I hope it says what I want it to say. I read your profile and am impressed by xxxxxxxxxxxxx."

WOW!!! where were you before with such nice letter! How much time I have spent to find simple clear words for the first introduction All of them were dry and empty to my mind.

Boys may be somebody else can give advice about! May be you have the letters you liked but don't need - with out names certainly I mean only examples not privat letters.

Hi All,
I agree with Solarb. Everyone knows why we are on this site, both male and female. I enjoy getting letters or inquiries from woman. Most, I have found are genuine and sincere, in what they want and what they expect. However, there is the occasional lady that seem to approach this forum, (to find a mate), as a curiousity or hobby. They come off as glib or cavalier. That is too bad because it gives the wrong impression to the men they are seeking to attract. Humor is fabulous but it needs to be tempered with a touch of sincerety. Otherwise, both parties my be missing out on a connection.

Dear Fred, you see for woman to find a mate if she is at the forum is impossible. No man likes when the woman has her opinion and tells it. If you want to find a lovely man don't mix the forum and the site where you are in search...at this case you are free to ask....and give the boys statements to think about...It is not a hobby it is a clever step because I am sure that all what is said can be taken at a wrong way and you should get a sign "old angry woman" for example and never take it away.
I am glad you honestly mentioned about, instead of discuss this round the corner.... moreso I respect a lot how do you "take the life" and especially your opinion is important and interesting for me.

I forgot to ask...if it is more comfortable for you boys I can stop writting here. Really may be you don't need...I didn't want to offend anybody.

Hi Olga, Thank you for the kind words. Perhaps you misunderstand me,though. When I said "the forum" I don't mean where we all write questions and answers, (like what I am doing now), I mean on the LP website. That too is a forum, a dating forum.

I am not sure about Russian men, but I think American men want a woman who can think for herself and isn't afraid to express an opinion. As long as it isn't meant to be hurtful, I find them much more enjoyable and exciting. It makes life so much more interesting. I am not looking for someone to mirror me, . . . rather, I am hoping to find someone who will be a complement. Hopefully, that applies in reverse.

Dearest Olga,
Please do not stop writing in the forum. I think you provide an angle that we are sorely lacking as men. Your opinions are on target and without malice. I value your thoughts. Keep them coming !!!

I think it is perfectly acceptable for a women to write first, particularly when she is expressing more information about herself that may not appear in her public Biography. I also believe it may encourage a man to take a look at a lady that he may otherwise overlook.

There are many ladies on this site, if she is interested in a man, she should speak to him and better her chances to be noticed.

I am also happy to read the ladies opinions on the website and am happy to read what they post

What I DO NOT enjoy, is when people become very aggressive and confrontational. I am perfectly comfortable and it is normal when people have different opinions and express themselves; However, when a Lady only comes to this site to post a confrontational letter. I believe she kills any chance of receiving a real reply from a man who otherwise would have been interested in her.

No man looks for a mate to confront and fight with every day.. we ALL look for a mate who will help us find peace, love and happiness.

So my advice would be to contact men you are interested in.. and post online when you feel you have something to add and wish to express and share... but, if you are posting to be aggressive with someone.. I think I would advice that a lady not do this, if she is sincerely interested in attracting a man to speak with her.

and Olga.. I read everything you post.. KEEP IT UP! I wish other ladies who can, would do so also..

By the way, boys, DON'T use the translator and Please don't write your letters only in russian...at least if you want to improve your russian language (or if you think that your russian is excellent) put the same letter but in english! Believe me what we get in russian is impossible to understand...if the girl wants she will find the way to translate herself...if she didn't answer it does not mean that she couldn't translate your english letter.

>>Is it normal the woman is active and writte the first?
>>Do you wait or you prefer to make the first steps yourself?
Hi Olga:
I am sure all the single men on this board have been to many singles dances, singles bars, and other singles activities and approached many different women. Responses from the women will vary from positive, to lack of interest, to outright rudeness. People (but not this forum) sometimes tend to be more rude on internet than they are in person. I have heard many people say you need "thick skin" to deal with the internet newsgroups and forums due to all the internet jerks that exist. So, nothing ventured, nothing gained, but you have to be able to deal with some very rude rejection sometimes if you want to make the first move. Also I am very skeptical of web sites where I get a lot of responses from ladies. It is well known that some of the owners of some of the web sites (not this one) will send fake emails to the men and sign a ladies name to the emails. These are usually web sites that charge for each email. One particular website is notorious for creating fake profiles of beautiful 20 year old ladies and sending fake emails to many men from that ladies profile. And they have been in business over 5 years.

There are sites with the function "mass send letters". Woman writes the first letter which is sent to all registrated man who are suitable with the age limits she wants administration puts only the name of the man. Everyday new girls join the site so the man can get new and new letters.
There is no such function at LP.

Dear Fred, if to take with out Humor everything what can be found at the internet during the search we can lost the hope in 2-3 months only Humor helps


When the man with proud writes he left one family with 2 children at Uk, an other girl he left with the son 6 years old in Russian (this wife is too old for him - 29 now)... and now he lives with a girl 23 years old (certainly she wants children because she is young) - wow! he is proud that he spends holidays with his children...hmmmm...sometimes if he has time and wish....and SUCH man is a hero for other men - I don't know why but this fact made me to be very sad!!!! Even humor helps bad at such cases.

Hi Olga,
Again, I think you misunderstand me. Relationships, are as an entity, can be catagorized as a colorful collection of emotions and interactions. Sometimes they are brilliantly hued and sometimes they are gray and sad. I am skeptical of anything that is only presented one way. My comment about humor and the need to temper it with some direct conversation was an effort to convey the thought that dating a woman on this site needs to have dint of seriousness attached to it. Otherwise I think we men are doing a disservice to the woman who are serious about finding a mate. I thoroughly enjoy teasing and joking some more than others, but, I when I enter into discussions with a lady on this site my intent is not one of play. I am hpeful the lady is just as purposeful. Did I express that sufficiently? Are you woman less than serious, (although that hasn't been my experience), . . . perhaps that is the more germane question.

I am almost sure that the most of women are serious about....I know several from the forum...even although they started for different reasons may be not to find the husband but to speak, to improve the english, to have a pan-friend...but they have met their second half (wait docs now) or have married already. To tell the truth I think that they only told us that they don't want anything serious and don't believe that it is possible to find a nice man with the help of internet but really they had a great hope and wish.
Family is very important for women I think much more important than for men.
Boys but don't take my words as if I know everyone at the world and can garantie you that all girls are angels. People are different and certainly not all of them are what you think. I can say only that the most of girls are serious about the search but there are bad also...
For example "Spectre" met one drunk woman and the second a little bit hysterical - not good at all....BUT maybe somebody needs a woman who will drink with him and he will be happy with such woman. People are so different never sure what can be good for them By the way nobody says that this drunk woman was not serious about the marriage

Olga, You are a hoot!!! And, absolutely correct. Just because a woman likes to take a drink doesn't mean that she won't be a good mate or isn't serious about getting married. Right on. For every love there is a lover. Touche!!! I like your perspctive.
Have a great weekend. Fred

I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman writing to a man first. If you come across someone's profile who you think is interesting I think you should jump on it.
In american culture (traditionaly) the man was the one who used to have to initiate in terms of relationship. However over the years, and in my generation this is not always the case.
I will be honest in the fact that there has been many times I have seen a woman in real life or maybe I read her profile on this dating site and I was too intimidated to talk with her. My thoughts are that this girl seems so wonderful and probably has several men chatting with her why waste my time. So infact I could be missing out on a great opportunity to meet the right woman.

Like solarb mentioned that in the past he would write to a woman and they would answer and other times they would not answer at all. I think this can be discouraging to us all. So I think it doesnt matter who writes to whom first. To be honest I feel relieved when I recieve a message from a woman because I always find it easier to respond then to break the ice. If you see someone you are interested in you should atleast give it a chance because you never know, that person could have been the one and you will never know because you decided not to write to them.