Writting for many

Boys, is it easy to write for several ladies if you have found already your special one? I mean just flirting not friendship.

I think that is a hard question to answer because what would be flirting to one person, may just be friendly conversation to another. But I will answer for me...

I try to answer every lady that writes. I do this because of my training as a child. I consider it rude to not politely answer everyone, even if you are not interested. I tell them I am happy to speak, but I am speaking with another.. but am open to "friendly" conversation.

I personally believe open conversation is good for everyone. Conversation eliminates confusion, conversation allows us to explore opinions and develop understanding. I also believe that we are ALL resources for each other... what better way to learn about a culture than to have someone willing to participate in friendly conversation that will answer questions honestly. Plus, you never know what might happen when real communication begins.

Sometimes I feel as if the attitude here is to meet someone quickly, and without really getting to know them or their personality, "commit" to exclusivity. Simply because we speak with one person, does that mean we should not have the opportunity to know others? I am not married.. I am not in a committed relationship.

But here is where the difference is important. When a man OR a woman says that they ARE committed and WILL NOT speak to others... but do anyway. Then this person is a player and a lier. You find these people everywhere. This is life, AND these people will NOT answer honestly, even if asked, and when found out should be dropped.

Unless of course you are looking for fun and a player and your intentions are different than mine. But even in this case, people need to be clear about their desires.

But remember, I am in my 50's.. I have learned much. When I was in my 20's.. I would have probably pursued any beautiful woman the seemed interested in me, and my opinion is most any man (or woman) that age would. The attractions at that age are for different reasons than what my attractions are now.

hmmm...have so much time to answer everybody????

The most of girls say that as a ruler they can't speak with different men if she is serious about somebody. Women more emotional???
What can give such playing-writting for man? What can he recieve? Why such games so attrective for men?

Perhaps the translation of the word "game" is different for you than for me... our conversation now.. Is it a game? What do YOU hope to receive? I believe you seek the same as I, understanding and knowledge. If I am wrong, I am happy to hear about what you are seeking.

And perhaps our life situations are different, I can almost promise you our technology is different. I can access the internet almost anywhere at anytime. I can contact anyone in the world from my cell phone in a moment. To answer you here is as simple as sending a text message for me. it requires little effort. I do not go to an internet cafe, I do not seek the location of a computer. Perhaps because of this, you may believe I do nothing but sit at an internet cafe and do not work. In fact, I am working now.

Why do I spend so much time speaking with people? Because I wish to better understand and integrate more easily with your family and customs. Is it not reassuring to you that my interest is at a level that I use my time to do this? Would not your family better appreciate the fact that their daughters are with men who honestly seek to be a part of their life?

Women do this as much if not more than men do. I know about this from experience. Six months ago I thought that I had found the right woman we had all the plans made. Tickets bought for a meeting. I had two male friends on the site and we would chat in the chat room late at night. Both of us soon would be traveling to Ukraine. We soon discovered that we were both going to meet the same woman just one week apart.

And just recently I had meet someone that I had a lot of feelings for. When she first made contact with me I was writing to 2 other women. I quit writing to them and wrote only to her things were going nicely. But she did not do the same thing. Come to find out she was planning a meeting with another man the whole time.

So ladies as you wag your fingers at the men maybe you should be looking in a mirror and wag those fingers at yourself.

What ever she is telling you she is also telling to 4 or 5 other guys

To Smurf89:

Your story is really sad.
But this happens because there are people here seeking for different goals.
And reading forums this can be easily seen.
I think all of us should have good luck and happiness to find someone special for you.
So good luck to you!!

I think in the beginning it isn't bad or good to write many women (or men).
we can't to know who is the best.
and I write with diferent men about diferent things.
but when you can know more you make choise and stay one with whom everything is interest.
but it's very hard when the one dissapeare - lol.
so women say - my searshing was finished with ring on finger.
it's truth.

no...this is not what I mean. I don't ask why a man has opportunity to answer any moment.
I say that when the girl is involved to the relationships every letter she writes with the part of soul, puts emotions, thinks about every phrase and word (several times reads his preveous letters - to enjoy and to find new detailes)...as you see it takes a lot of time even if she has opportunity to enter the internet any moment.
Certainly if there are no any feelings it is easy to send quickly empty messages...as you say for conversation...but I still can't understand what for do I need this conversation why should I spend my working time for empty speaking. If the man knows and plan nothing seriuos with this woman what for to write her several months about love and great feelings why tells that he is going to come...wait 2 months than one more 2 months than...
As I understand anyway the man shall not get money from the woman who fell in mad love with him but nevertheless does what reasons? he needs so much conversation? he has nothing to do more useful?
As for me I shall not start speaking with a man if I surely know he needs only conversation... My reasons:
1) as I use internet at work I can't waist my working time for empty speaking
2) I put my feeling and emotions for every letter (by the way do you know that Ukraine and Russian people don't smile always only for the person they know or for unknowen one but if they want to make pleasant - because to every smile they put feelings - can't smile with out feelings). It takes much time.
3) I almost don't use comp at home because after the work there are a lot of things to do: children, sport, homework, study. There is no almost time for conversation.
Writting for months or years is almost impossible.

As for other girls I can add that they manage to draw pictures to write books and verses, to sew - I can't understand where do they take the time.

I understand what you say.. it is hard to make time available. Me, I have a job, two children alone and an elderly Father I care for. I must tend my home, my yard, cooking, cleaning, shopping, mending and everything. But I do this, AND I still make time.

For me.. the conversation is an act of giving and sharing. I truly do NOT expect something in return. I believe that when the right person is here for me, it will become apparent and obvious, and I will respond. Until that certainly happens (and it will) my heart and mind is open to all. I do not give my time, thoughts or emotions greedily.

Its true, I may be disappointed again or I may lose time and effort, but that is life... I can not be afraid to live it. But perhaps you are right, perhaps this is a cultural difference. I want the people I associate with to be happy and smile. I think everyone everywhere could use all the smiles they can receive.

Yes if a man is in Europe then 2 months is more than enough time. For him it can be as easy as just a weekend trip just to meet and see if there is chemistry between the two of you. Fly in early Saturday and leave late Sunday and be back at work on Monday. Then if the feelings are real plan a longer meeting together. If I lived in Europe that is want I would do just to see if there was any shared feeling. And in this case 2 months is really to long 2 weeks to 1 month is all that is needed.

But if he is in U.S. are Canada there is a lot more involved than a weekend trip. You have to make sure it is the right woman. Because here most men only get one or two weeks vacation a year. And the trip is for two weeks from 5,000 to 7,000 dollars. It is a large investment of time and money. And you want to make sure it is with the right woman. Not a woman that is meeting guys every month and you are just the next one in line.

Besides what is the hurry do you turn into pumpkins after 2 months.

from 5,000 to 7,000 dollars - WOW what is it ???? when one of the ladies told at the forum that the trip to the USA would coast near 3,000$ and it is impossible for lady to find such money (even if she will get them back in USA, Canada ect.) she has got the name "SCAMMER" and got such reaction!!!!



Very sad boys, but do you think at this case only Europe men would be married?

Unfortunately, it is the truth however. ..

I think any man here who is looking for a wife would gladly work with her to obtain a fiance' visa. This is all that is required for a sincere bride to come to the US for 3 months. After 3 months she can either decide the man is for her and marry or return home.

The man would gladly pay for her and a child to travel.. which would cost approximately $1500.00 USD each for tickets and pay her expenses while she is here in the US for three months. The total cost could easily be $5000.00 USD or more, particularly if she has more than one child. If you do not understand this, then you are not aware of our economy and prices.

For the man, this is a great financial risk to take. He should do his best to insure his proposed wife is sincere BEFORE such undertaking. AND it is important that the man be aware of what he should be prepared to pay... if he can not have the money available, then he should wait or seek other options for a wife.

This is not only good for him because he understand the true costs and risks, but also good for her, because she would KNOW her man can support her and she would not become obligated in a plan that would fail.

The costs of VISAS and the types available are well known to us, please take the time to contact the American Council if you have doubts of what I say... all my visa quotes are directly from that office. If you DO NOT LIKE the requirements, then you should speak with the Council. But, these are the laws Americans MUST live by.

The fiance' VISA is an excellent plan for the lady, because it is the MAN who must prove worthiness before you travel... and if he can not, you will know before you commit.

The exact opposite is true with a "Tourist VISA"... with a tourist VISA the Lady must prove worthiness... which for most, is nearly impossible. So this creates two situations that are not happy..

Situation 1: is repeated denial of a VISA, this will cost time and could kill the relationship.

Situation 2: is the man must send much money for support of the woman to obtain the tourist VISA. This opens the man up for possible great loss and disappointment. Plus, when the woman arrives, she has no reason to even speak with the man, she is here on her own, with HIS money in HER pocket.. no intelligent man would finance this type of affair.

Any sensible and sincere woman can see the logic of the situation, If they can not, then they are not the woman for me. I wish to find a wife who understands reality and is truly interested in ME, not a woman who perhaps only seeks a tourist VISA into the country.

and yes, I DO have an old friend living on less than 1000 Grivnas a month in Ukraine. He is an older gentleman. When you translate American dollars into Grivnas, depending on the exchange rate.. you have little more than $100 maybe $110 USD per month.

Please understand, I am not being negative.. I have great hopes of having a wonderful bride that I will love and support. These are simple facts that any American should completely understand.. and many who are new in the search, do not.

I would also like to add that I was speaking about a woman requesting $3000.00 USD for a VISA.. which is a blatant lie... she does not need $3000.00 USD for a VISA. Any woman who would request this should be banned. AND

After I made that post, I personally went to the ladies site to find such a request and could not find it. So I returned here to this site and reported exactly that.... I posted in the same thread that I did NOT find a post requesting $3000.00 for a VISA, only the discussion of costs.

I would like to request that before you make claims and accusations like this, that you completely read and understand the complete and totally string of conversation and that you report ALL the facts, such as I did... and not take quotes out of context of the whole conversation.

jscottv, she wrote 3000$ tourist trip costs, not visa (read topic for men). and it is true often for get visa woman need has enough money at her bank account. but most women in russia haven't it.
think for american man better come to country of his woman for first meeting

I absolutely agree!!

The man SHOULD go meet the woman.. this is by far the most practical method. Then after, if things go well, then the Man should sponsor the woman and child on a fiance VISA. and actually, I recommend the woman NOT marry until she has come here and experienced the man in his home and the environment. She has 90 days to do this and decide if she wants to marry or not.. (and the man also).

and you are right, that was the mistake I corrected in the original postings of costs. I was given the impression that the woman asked $3000 USD for a VISA.. but that was not what happened. I went and researched myself on the womans site what was said.. and you are right, she was speaking about the costs of travel. So I corrected my mistake with another post stating that fact. This was not mentioned however by the previous poster.

and perhaps you do not realize, to apply for a fiance VISA, the American man MUST provide evidence of physically being together with the woman before application. So in fact, the man has no choice but to travel first to meet the woman before he may apply for a fiance VISA.

Stilina, the money requirement is NOT important for a fiance' VISA.. the MAN will provide the assurance to Immigration.

The money requirement is ONLY important when the WOMAN wishes to travel on a "tourist VISA"... this is very high risk for the American Man, because you are right.. probably he would need to provide money for the ladies bank for her to qualify to travel. This is VERY RISKY for the man...

Thank you for taking the time and noticing the difference in what was being communicated....