she is there and then she's gone?

Perhaps someone knows the reason for this issue I have seen and heard many others reference as well. The scenario is simple you begin corresponding with a lady on this site nothing heavy and perhaps just friendly chat with questions and answers. And without notice bam, they stop writing? Now I'm not talking about anything heavy and not a long correspondence either. Perhaps it's misinterpretation or a bad translation? But it is annoying, if anyone can shed some light on this then please feel free to add to this thread.

It is annoying, but I wouldn't worry about it. There could be a million reasons. My guess would be most likely they started writing just to see if the site actually worked and they could communicate with someone. An experiment so to speak... and they were never serious. Besides most times brief acquaintences move on quickly.

Perhaps but a simple note would be nice saying not interested. One of the ladies wrote that many believe after two months of writting a man and no plan to travel to me they think he maybe a player.

well then, I am in trouble because if they think I am flying to see someone I have spoken with for only a few weeks, then they are mistaken.

The only way to be successful here is to actually fly there and meet in person.
Then you must also speak some Russian.
Also if you are fat, ugly, or have no money, and are not a good personality then you have no chance.
These women are cultured and educated.
Their incomes are low but that does not mean they are desperate for a western man at all cost.

lets say your not fat or ugly you have some money but not rolling in it. I would say it is still too much to exspect every time you write a lady you fly to Russia as many ladies write many men at the same time. I can only assume many men do the same? Although your point is well taken, how can you build a relationship without seeing the lady?

I agree with flyboy........after all this is a marriage site and there not going to play around exchanging letters like a permanent penpal, it seems obvious to me after 2 or 3 months I will know this woman well enough to visit. You can't sit back and pick away at every little detail looking for a red flag, there are faults with everyone, I know I'm not perfect and I don't expect my lady to be without a flaw either. Weather you admit to it or not theres going to be something you dislike at some point in time anyway, thats life! If someone here interest you then go to her and get in line, thats just the way it is, I seriously doubt your the only one she writes and if you don't go someone will. I think were all cautious men, especially if we were decieved in a previous marriage, and sometimes it's hard to gain trust, but you can only accomplish so much without a visit, the facts are these sites are not for people who can't travel, so with that in mind you have to decide what your doing here to begin with.

I think that if somebodoy is in this site seriously is somebody willing to take the obvious risks involved.

And of course a real meeting is necessary for start a real relationship...if not, what are you doing here? To dream with eastern women?

It is necessary to be the enough cautious, but there is no garantee of nothing in this issue, like everything worthy in life...so you have to decide any moment, if you want to suceed here...period.

Most of you commenting have been speaking long enough to fly based on your opinions. So when will you be heading out? I'll be interested in hearing about your results.

I personally find it very foolish to fly after a few weeks conversation. I wouldn't marry ANYONE under those circumstance. That really does lower the bar to "mail order bride" status. and any man or woman, that is desperate enough to marry a under those circumstances really have no idea what they will get.

SOoo Frankly... I simply disagree with "flyboy". I don't think it matters how good looking you are or how much money you have. I think personality, intelligence, mutual desires and compatibility aremore important, I want to get to know and fall in love with the woman... and that takes time. Also, I want her to feel the same way about me.. I hope to build a lasting relationship based on mutual understanding and desires. I certainly am not interested in marrying someone who is psychotic and I would be surprised to hear that the ladies were interested in marrying an as**ole. No matter how good he looked or how much money he had.

and I definitely would NEVER marry a woman who wanted me for my money or looks alone.. that is so VERY SHALLOW I won't even comment on it except to say that if I wanted a girl who was only interested in my money.. I could find one locally with much less hassle.

I guess I am a romantic at heart and NOT desperate enough to lower myself to that level. But I DO agree that you must fly at some point.. this is without a doubt.. and anyone that could not do that is wasting peoples time.

oops correction, I agree with flyboy on the meeting part, now the fat, ugly, no money guy with no personality, Im not even going to comment on, so thanks jscottv for letting me clear this up with that said we also have another issue, my opinion was 2-3 months not a few weeks, a few is 3-5 I think. I guess our impass here is the definition of a few weeks, which I had no idea it meant 3 months, I don't find it foolish to visit in this amount of time, but to marry? yes I agree with you there,and remember I'm saying 2-3 months for a meeting, not a few weeks, thats a huge difference. And I stand by everything else I said in the previous post.

chill,

Thanks, now we are more on the same page... I want to spend a few months (3,4?) really speaking with the lady... getting to know her, what she hopes to find in marriage, her likes, desires and compatability. I want her to be available to me. and interested in speaking to me.

Plus, I'm not a cave man with a club... What do I think I am gonna do. Speak online a few weeks, get her all soupy, go flash around money.. and while she is distracted.. hit her in the head and drag her back?

Wouldn't do it.. and even more importantly, don't want a wife that would let me do it!

The ladies are reading our threads and they discuss them on theirs I opened a thread for such questions directed towards them. One question they asked is why a man who may even visit tell them they love them and then disapear?

I believe that perhaps the man was being dishonest in the first place. Does anyone else have any idea?

yes that was dishonest, I think he had other intentions to begin with, and used love as a tool for his approach.

yep.. he's trash...

There is an easy explanation - you're not her type.
It's the feature of the Internet dating.

You know and she knows if you're attracted to each other the very few minutes of your conversation and from a look to the photos.

She is a polite lady, and answers you, usually in very short phrases. Then she gets bored and stops.
You think you write something wonderful about yourself to make her love you - it never happens if she doesn't like you from the very beginning.