A new question

Barabaika,

agree with you on the birth rate, please excuse me I was refering to available single women per man.........

Strange....i wonder why Barabaika is single....hmmm we will have to ponder that one !

Another interesting omment "use a translator" that is a fantastic idea wish i had thought of that one i can imagine its very romantic in an intimate situation....sort of like the film "stuck on you" .

Now seriously for one moment ,its all well and good saying these numbers and birth rates etc please try and go and experience for your self as you will see population statistics dont tell you the full story or the reality.

"You can take the horse to water but you cant make it drink".....if you are not prepared to travel there....dont bother looking on the internet....as it will merely just stay a pipe dream and you spend your time asking "are they real" why do women go "bam" etc etc

The reality is the internet is just an introduction from there its just like a regular relationships only the more language barriers you have the harder you will have to work at it. Hence why i said "good english" will be a preferance and make life a little simpler .

Life is as simple or as complicated as you make it....as yourself "is your glass half full or half empty" ??
Happy xmas everyone

Boys, These are the questions which the girl is asked at the embassy. If you don't know what to tell about you at the letters just use them like a help. Often we hesitate if it is polite to ask or not to ask some questions - so help your girl... step by step give her the information about you...certainly if you are serious not only a tourist



What can you tell me about your fiancé?
What is his name?
When is his birthday?
When and how did you meet your fiancé?
On what web-site?
Can you explain me, how one can find each other in the Internet?
How do you spend your free time together?
What do you call your fiancé/husband?
How did your friendship turn into love?
Why does he want to marry you?
What common interests do you have?
How long have you known each other?
Have you met in person?
How often do you meet?
What are the dates of the visits?
Do you have tickets? Show me.
What have you done when he came?
When did he come last time? When did he leave??
Why was it so long ago?
Where have you met?
Why did he come here?
Do you have photos?
When and where did you take these pictures?
Which trait do you like best about your fiancé?
Are you willing to marry him?
Why do you want to marry him?
When did you decide to marry?
When did you get engaged?
Why did you decide to get married so fast?
How do you know he is the one to fit you best?
Where are you from? Where is this town situated?
Why do you want to go to USA to marry him?
Why don't you marry in Russia?
When will you leave Russia?
Have you already bought tickets?
Where will you live when you arrive?
Do you know you must marry within 90 days of entering the US?
If you can't marry, what are you going to do?
Are you going to marry him to immigrate to the USA?
Why do you want to go to the U.S.?
Why can't he come to Russia? If you love him and if he loves you, then it won't be difficult!
Why are you sure that he loves you and that you will be happy forever?
How old are you?
And at this age you are going to get married and have kids?
And why do you have such a considerable age difference?
Aren’t you scared to have such a big age difference?
Why do you think you are his dream girl?
Do you have any plans for your wedding? What are they?
When do you plan to get married?
Why so fast?
You haven’t lived together, how can you be sure?
Where in the USA will you live?
What you know about city where you will live?
Have you visited him in the US?
His address in USA?
What you know about his parents?
Has your fiancé/husband met your family? Have you met his?
What do his relatives think about you?
Where was he born?
Has he got any brothers and sisters?
Where do they live?
Are his parents alive?
Where do they live?
What's his mother's(father’s) name?
Where does she(he) come from?
Do they work? What is their job?
What do your parents think about your intent to get married?
Why did you fall in love with each other?
Do you know your fiancé/husband was divorced? When? Why?
How many times was he married? Why?
How long did his last marriage last?
Doesn't it seem you unusual that he divorced not long before marrying (proposing to) you?
Why do you think you will be his last wife?
Do you know your fiancé/husband has children from the previous marriage? What are their names? Have you met them? What do they think of you?
Did you know that your fiance/husband had filed a petition for K1 for another woman?
What education has he got?
Where did he graduate from? When?
Where does he work?
What does he do at work?
When did he start working for his company?
Where is his job?
Do you know when he will be retired?
Do you know what pension he will have?
You are going to live on this money?
Ah, you plan to work and provide for your retired husband?
How long have you been learning English?
How many foreign languages do you speak?
Do you work?
Do you like your work?
Do you work in your speciality?
What’s your profession?
What did you graduate from?
Why did you get the second higher education?
What was your senior thesis?
Was it pleasant to get the second higher education?
What do you plan to do after the arrival to the U.S.?
Do you plan to study in the U.S.?
Do you plan to work in USA? Why(why not)?
Do you plan to work in your speciality?
Do you have job offers from any company?
Do you know how to apply your specialization in USA?
What can you do besides it?
What if you can't find job in your profession?
Does your fiancé speak Russian?
What gifts did he send to you /you send to him?
Does he send you money? How much?
Do you have the receipts to prove it? Show me
What do you do with it?
What will you do if you don't get your visa?
What are his hobbies?
What color does he like best?
What kind of music does he like?
What car does he drive?
What are his favorite sports?
What is his favorite dish?
What you know about his religion?
How you solve religious problems?
How do you keep in touch?
What made you decide to print out these letters?
What color are your fiancé's eyes?
What color is your fiancé's hair?
What kinds of food does your fiancé like?
How much is his salary?
What does he like to do for fun?
Where did he work in the past and for how long?
Have you ever applied for any visa?
Who helped you finish documents for the k visa?
Did you fill your forms yourself?
When did you file the petition?
Are you a terrorist?
Do you plan to have children?
Do you have children?
Has your fiancé/husband met your children? What do they think of him? What do they call him?
How do you spell your fiancé’s mother last name?
How long have you been corresponding with your fiancé(e)?
How often do you talk to each other?
Do you have brothers and sisters?
Have you been married before?
What's your ex.'s name?
What are your hobbies and interests?
Does he worry about you? And about your visa? Why?
Do you want to get the visa?
Do you understand that this is not a guest but an immigrant visa?
Where is the state of Washington situated?

Olga!Nothing is good enough for you,so why are you in here.....................?

Sorry stein I didn't understand why was your question. What made you think that nothing is good enough for me?
The questions written above were put by one girl on the ladies side of the forum. These questions she was asked at the embassy when she was taking the visa K1. So I put them here for all to know what not to forget to tell your lady about you...for example to spell your mother's name . It seems to me from these questions is well seen the way how the relations have to go on. The calls, the cards, the presents, the visits and ect. other way the girl wouldn't get the visa for example if you haven't got the fotos on which you are together. So look yourself what steps must be doen in order to show that you are serious about marriage.

Merry Christmas for everybody!!! Wish all of you enjoy great holidays! Hope nobody will meet the New Year alone!

Olga,

I found the information very helpful and a good list to save. I had forgotten how many questions and what type I and my former wife had been asked from my first marriage many years ago (16). i think this list should be used by anyone seeking a K1.

I wish you a Merry Christmas and happy Holiday Season!

Boys if you please I need your Wise advices.
You see before the first meeting the most difficult to discuss the questions of money.
As for me when I am asked if I had a meeting already I usually send this story and write that don't want to get something the same againe....to tell the truth this is not my story - I have got it from my friend with words: "Olga don't repeat my mistakes"... but I use this story like mine.


"ok a little about my meeting experience...
He was from...(sorry no names)...a very polite and nice man, I liked him…and I was so happy that we can understand each other (I never had opportunity to speak english before). I met him at the airport, nice man, certainly he forgot to suggest me money for taxi. Next day we went to the park and spent time at a small cafe, nice man, certainly he had not ukraine money with him and there were not places near for exchange, I paid myself. Next day we went for a walk at the town, when he suggested to go to a cafe I refused (ohhh - no....I haven't so much money in order to pay for cafe everyday) but suddenly the rain started and we had to catch the taxi to take him to the hotel (can you guess who paid?). Next day we planed to invite my friends …ok decided I: “I shall try to be impudence today” - and asked him to pay for products. Nice man, he opened his bag, showed it to me and said: “empty” (can you guess who paid?). BUT!!! I forgave him everything after his present. Next day he presented me a very good mop…and the most valuable were his words: “My love I can’t see you wash the floor by hands, your back can be ill”. I was ready to cry - it was a care. But when he left I have understood that in 5 days I spent more than a half of my monthly salary. So now I know surely that to have my own man with a care is a very very expensive thing for me.
I hope you smile at least now.
Have a good day.
Olga"

My conclusions after this story:
1) to be very polite and modest for woman is not good for her at all
2) to discuss money questions before the meeting is more than important

Really need your advises:
1) how to tell that woman is not going to spend any money for man - no 50\50 even - but to do this at a normal polite way and not to make him think that she wants to scammer him
2) what is normal to discuss about money? - the pay for taxi for example
3) how to tell that something what is small price for him is more than much for her (if to count her salary)
4) how to explaine that to find the money for tickets which he will return later is usually not possible for the girl from FSU

Olga,

I am an American, for us it is natural to discuss most any subject without fear. If you are with an American, I would suggest you are simply truthful and explain the situation. Help the "gentleman" understand what the differences are. Suggest you would like to be nice to him and perhaps treat him to a little item, but that you can not pay for trips and lunch. If he really cares about you, he will understand.

I will make two more comments:

Comment one: If this happens again, do not return to the second date! Even if he did NOT have the correct currency, a gentleman would offer to reimburse you your expense with his own currency for you to exchange at another time!...

Comment two: My advice is BAD ADVICE for a European (at least swiss who I understand).. if he was Swiss, you would simply use economics in the discussion and make comparisons for him to understand what sacrifice you make to see him. he should understand your situation... but then again, if he is Swiss.. he would not only understand before he arrives, but also have the money in the correct denomination, know where the nearest exchange is, could quote the current exchange rate and suggest the best location for banking in your area and have a map for the best value restaurants in the area!!

I have written this message several time, trying not to come across 'angry', but I am. I must say Olga, he didn't treat you as a woman should be treated. You deserve better. I can't believe this is acceptable in any culture. The way I was raised the man pays the bill, always. I will end now before I say something I shouldn't.

I was going to post in a separate post, but my question is related to the topic. What does the word 'Generous' mean to an Eastern European woman? Specifically, a woman in her 30's.

The term is ambiguous, but often has a negative connotation in my part of the American sub-culture. It is also a matter of degrees, is a woman saying she doesn't want a man who is miserly? In my case, I do not spend money foolishly, prefering to save and live like a king on vacation. What does that make me?

Somehow I missed the line about her borrowing the story from a friend. Still a sad story. I am starting to understand why women eject from online dating. I dated on Match for a while, and made a lot of friends. You wouldn't believe what goes on, it makes it difficult for the rest of us. Women have a difficult time online.

Once I tried already to explaine that women and men have a little bit different point of view about the question "to spend money foolishly". I shall try one more time and go from here.

Not long ago we spoke with one man and were discussing his son.
He says: My son have bought for his girlfriend the underwear - price 1500 euro. I am in shock he spends money foolishly .
My oppinion: Why foolishly? Your son doesn't like to watch bad underwear. He wants to enjoy the beautiful woman. He gets happyness when he delivers her such expencive present and gets many emotions and I think even excite
He says: My son bought her a very expencive ring near 5000 euro. I am shocked he spends money foolishly
My oppinion: Why foolishly? She will show the ring to all her friends with the words "look I have a very rich man, who can buy such nice things" (they live at the small town) and very soon all town will know that your son is Rich and successful man. He will have the image of success and benefit.

If He says: I shall buy something cheap for my woman.
She thinks: Okey I am not against but you have to be ready that no one on the planet will say or think you are successfull man not looser
Don't be in panic boys, even if the present is not very expencive nevertheless you should get nice emotions because to give presents and get warm thanks always nice.

hmmm...spend money foolishly...I depends much whome do you want to see near with you: if you want to see your wife is fat with dirty uncut hair bad dressed don't waist money for her fitness-club for her nice dress for making manicure and hair (learn before how much does it coast + cosmetic). If you want a wife with out teeth don't spend money foolishly for her dentist.

as for the young wife in her 30 don't forget she needs education. When you boys write: "The girl will continue her career" your girl falls in panic - What career she can continue with out language and with out any papers even about school??? - to wash the toilets only. If you can garantie that she will have time and some money for education this is much more better...but you have to understand well it will take not less than 2-3 years (as for you it took you 10 years at school) and YOU have to provide the family.

An interesting answer Olga....

Of course you are Russian, so I will not presume to understand the Russian attitude better than you, but my experience with the Russian ladies is that normally they are not speaking about money at all... but about the condition of the mans heart. That "generous" means he is a kind and giving man.

You see, from my perspective.. if a man pays $1500.00 Euro for underwear ( the cost of a round trip ticket to fly and see his woman), he must be EXTREMELY RICH.. or in fact IS very foolish.

Your answer is the kind of answer that WOULD make a man think the girl is ONLY interested in his money. Few men could reasonably afford such a cost for undergarments.

Every man gives according to his ability, the girl/ lady must decide if his ability is acceptable. If his gift is accepted with love... what does she care what it costs?! OR.. is it more important to impress the friends than to have a loving husband?

Is it not enough that the lady has a man that is devoted to her and loves her enough to be thinking of her and chooses items he finds special for her.. in the end, isn't THAT more important than price?

We have a saying that: " the gift of bread from a hungry man, is far more valuable than the gift of gold from a rich man".

This does not mean that the man does not need to be able to provide for the lady, of course he needs the ability to care for you should you join him... only that it is impossible to judge a man by his wealth.

I wonder.. who would die for you first, the poor man that gives you his bread, or the rich man that gives you his gold... Hmmm

Just my questions and opinions.

Strange...why sad story???
I wanted only to explaine that when you boys say: "let's meet ..." or "come to me..." but your girl can't find usefull words why she is not in a hurry - don't forget to add that you are going to pay her road and bills if there are such. The words that you are not against will help her to start discussion money questions. If not she can disapear with out any explanation.
hmmmm...may be it is difficult to explaine to the man whome she knows only by writting and never saw before that she has no money (or doesn't want to spend them)

but I am going to worn again and again NEVER send money...come look your self - with open eyes understand the situation...after you will decide wether you consider she is your woman and you want to help and support her. If she asks the money there can be two ways:
a) she is a scammer - so it is foolish to send her money
b) she is honest and really has not money - so tell her that you will come soon and look what can be doen..."Don't worry darling soon I am with you and we shall over come problems together" - this is the best way to act.

Hi Scott
Certainly to have lovely husband with kind opened heart is much better than to be in gold but with cold man near.
But You see...we speak a little bit different things. You want to say "we are poor boys don't ask much from us"...as for me I want to say that when you boys spend the money for your girl it means that in big part you spend them for yourself and it doesn't mean to spend them foolishly...they in fact return back to you:
1) you get her emotions and gratitude...she has good mood and wants to treat you better
2) you get good image and all around sure you are succsessfull (not she is succsessfull but you are - and it will help you at busness and ect).
When you have opportunity to choose with whome to deal I think you try to act with the man who is told to be succsessfull.
I don't insist don't spend much money the whole year you can take cheap unhealthy food in order to be a king one week at vacation or spend them later on doctors

He worked hafe a year at 3 jobs in order to impress her
foolishly????? I like to think he is in mad LOVE with her
Who of you had the same feelings in your life???