How long should we speak, before we travel?

I have a question and would like to receive your opinions...

I do not know about others here, but I have what I would call a "normal" life. I support myself and my family, I have extra money and can enjoy extras with a little planning, I could travel to visit a perspective fiance' and could pay the expenses required for meeting and should we marry can afford her immigration. BUT!... I am not rich!.

I could not travel every month or travel for sport.. for me to travel would require planning. Even to cover my work while I am away. Perhaps at MOST I could travel twice a year.

So my question is this, already I have heard different ideas and answers from people I have known.

My Question:

For someone hoping to find a bride, What would seem an appropriate time of communication and learning about the lady, before travel to meet the lady would seem logical and prudent? and WHY do you have this opinion!!?

Thanks for the help....

3 months at least.....but how can you judge the proper time?
We are all multidimensional creatures and we feed differently off each other.
Some couples should take a year, while others would be ok at only 3 months,if in that time they had revealed much about their soul's desires.
Intention and Intensity are variable factors that control the answer to your question.

Interesting question, however the ability to make these trips are like you said based of circumstance if you are a working family man then of course your ability to travel is far more restrictive than to well off can do what ever he likes guy. The issue however is when should one travel to meet. I would say follow your heart but don’t brake the bank as if you two wish to move towards marriage then you will have to incur the cost of that as well. Balance your desires to be together with the finances necessary remember you are planning a life together so think long term and if you can’t visit all the time write call what ever it takes and remind each other this is temporary.

Hi guys,
simple answer...if you feel she is the right one,so you will travel without thinking on such details..if not,so you have no problems..

I wish it were so simple.. But you are making a bad assumption here. That assumption is, "she is only talking to you!"....

Most of the ladies are speaking to more than one man... so what YOU feel and think, may not actually be what SHE feels and thinks.

So you have two schools of thought:

School one: go as quickly as possible to confirm your feelings and test the relationship together one-on-one so a decision could be made.

School two: Take the time to really get to know your lady before you commit the time and effort for travel.

Both ideas have plus and negative aspects..

Personally, I do not want to go before I feel I know the woman and that I have a good chance of success. Simply because, I could not travel every two months or as the mood is in me to go. BUT, I risk losing her to someone who arrives before me.

If you go right away, you could spend much time, effort and money just to visit girls..
sounds fun, but there a plenty of girls here if I just want a date...

Besides, I know we all are hoping to meet a nice lady.. and they are out there waiting, BUT, there could be two types of girls you could accidentally choose if not careful or lucky..

"Serial Daters"... girls who hope someone will come treat them to a fun week in a big city, with love, romance, presents and nice restaurant's, who never really was looking for a husband.. That's fine if the people are honest and upfront about what happens.

or

Blatant scammers.. who are hoping to find a way to make something on you.

So hopefully you better see what I am considering.. to me the BEST situation is to spend the time to really get to know the girl and hopefully better understand who she is and what she desires BEFORE you plan a trip. I feel it is better to stop speaking and move on, than keep speaking and travel hoping it is good after all.

But, The risk is high if the girl is wanting to marry quickly or someone else is interested.

Comments?

Actually going to visit the woman you are corresponding with in her own country will give you a huge advantage compared to other men.
You can get all sorts of photos and letters. Who can check, if the content is true?
But BEING at the place will give you some very necessary information!
Even if you find out that this is not the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you have some "reality" to help you make the decision.
When we write letters or speak on the phone we always want to make "a good impression of ourselves" and I guess that the woman wants to do the same.
When we READ a letter and LOOK AT a photo, are we really reading and seing things as they are or are we only seing the things we WANT to see?

I think waiting to long is not good, if your writing daily to a woman for a couple months you should have some idea of her sincerity, she will not wait forever, soon she will develope a sense of false hope, as if your just playing games, if you have 2 planned vacations a year then I would plan 1 at least 2 months into your relationship with her and no more than 3, just to show that your fully commited, and then maybe you will have all her attention ,writing is a start but a meeting is most important, and the sooner the better, many of these women have been decieved and don't believe in long comunication by letters or phone calls alone, actions speak louder than words! Hey if it doesnt work out would you rather have wasted 6 months writing letters or 3, my time is valuable to me.

Again some interesting responses as you stated before can’t just pick up and go when ever you like however I believe at some point you have to make physical contact to insure the both of you this is real. As for a time line as I can see there are different thoughts move to fast and could be waste to slow and she will find another. Although both are valid, I would wish my lady to not jump to a greener pasture because of lack of vacation time if she does then is she sincere on the other hand how will she know your sincerity unless you make the effort. I wish there was a simple answer to this.

Exactly my point.. It seems if she is sincere, she would wait.. On the other hand, how does she know WE are really sincere and actually plan to come!