I am not getting many responses and I have sent out many...

I'd like to respond to solarb. I am seeking a serious relationship. I am not getting many responses and I have sent out many inquiries. Unlike the other gentleman, I get very few letters. I am 50. I actually went to the Ukraine to meet one lady, but I realized she was only looking for a friend, not a relationship. In fact she came right out and told me she would never leave the Ukraine during my visit. I am writing to the 35 and up ladies, so it is not like I am trying to rob the cradle or going beyond my capability. So, I must admit I am discouraged. Of course, I am only writing to those I am attracted to, but there are very many. Anyway, not many seem to be interested. I am assuming it is because they also are looking for younger men, as the American women are, or they are truely not interested in a man of character who can provide for them, or looks is the number 1 priority and not the man. This is also true in the states. I know I am not writing trashy things to them. I am a Christian and I am treating them with respect in my writing. i always hear women ask, "Where are the nice guys?" Well, here is one and no one is noticing.

Solarb is on vacation, he will be away for at least two more weeks.

You have picked the right man to ask.

"...no one is noticing..." can't believe
Certainly you will find her...your only one...don't be discouraged...50 is a very nice age - very attractive for pretty women near 40... did you see how many beautifull and clever women at the age 45? You think 45 is rather old? Try to speak with several but with different age and compair who is better match for you. Be a little more brave - start to speak not only with women who are intrested in you but start to speak with those who are attractive just for you...so when she will answer it means that you both attractive to each other. Though away the thought "such beautifull woman shall never reply, she is not for me" - never think so...if she is here may be she is waiting just for you.
Sometimes they wait you will be the first to wink - to make first steps for lady is not very polite...so may be she is sitting and waiting for your sign.
Didn't you ask your woman before the visit if she is ready to leave her country? Why not to discuss such questions? By quistions and answers is easy to understand if the person is serious.
By the way Solab did 3 or more trips before he found.

"I am not getting many responses and I have sent out many inquiries."

First keep in mind it is not a contest to see who gets the most messages. The idea is to find a woman you can love, yes?

With the limited number of contacts allowed to the men, I learned to be careful who I approached. Someone elsewhere mentioned that perhaps half of the ladies are here for more for fun and ego stroking rather than a serious search for their other half. I wasted at least half my allotted contacts on ladies that never responded, so I changed my approach slightly.

First, review the profiles. Look at those who you find interesting. The next day , see which ladies you looked at have taken the time to look at you in return - if she looked, it is usually a good sign. If you are still interested, place her on your hotlist, and wait to see if she does the same. I had more success with ladies that hotlisted me than those who did not. In fact this very technique is how I met my lady friend - and we are becoming quite serious.

Another bit of advice - slow down! If you are trying to communicate with several ladies at once you will soon be overwhelmed. Try to concentrate on one at a time - or at least be honest and tell you new friends that you are communicating with other ladies as well - trust me, they will figure it out anyway, and you look very insincere by not telling them.

Lastly, do not give up. I just turned 51, and like you was not searching for a young bride. I have found the sweetest and most adorable woman. We took our time to get to know each other, and in the process have built a solid foundation for our relationship. I could not be happier!

Hi everyone,
Especially 'OlgaUkraine' your comments make my time on this site so interesting and reading what you and others have to say has helped me to retain my belief that it is possible in meeting real people in cyber space. I have been following this forum since I joined LP some months ago (I've only added a photo today) I have admired your thoughts and perspectives on people and relationships and I find it all very enlightening and most encouraging, in my opinion, sometimes spot on. Do you mind telling me Olga, what do you do for a day job? I also wish everyone here all the best.

Bonay
PS: as it's been said, yes! this is not a recent photo, I am working on updates but I've not changed much.... Honest!!

rdh: Pictures are critical for getting a first look. I can tell by your photo that maybe you didn't take much time taking a quantity of pictures. I am not saying you look bad in the pic (you look ok) but for example it is not a good facial expression. Smile. If you take about 50 or more digital photos at various angles, everyone will find a few that look much better than the others.
Also post 3 or 4 photos.

Also I would suggest you list your age range of interest as 40-50. The youngerladies will still respond if they are interested. Mention in your ad that you have previously visited Ukraine, as that will carry some weight.

There are many web sites in addition to this one. Thousands of ladies. This site is fine, but I would suggest using 10 to 20 sites.

Why do you think so???

Hello Bonay thank you, so unusual for me to hear...usually I am old angry narrowminded with bad humour.
By the way want to tell... that I too only when I started to read the men's forum have understood suddenly that you are so real boys with the same doubts and the same problems with choice...before you all were like one face a little bit virtual....have understood that there are honest men who really try to find their girls not only players...I have understood that real serious relations can grow up from very unserious funny point...that there is no reason to start from the first letter "are you going to marry me" because people are so different may be you both will feel yourself uncomfortable with each other...

so thank you boys...thank you that you are so nice and so different...



P.S. You see if you have no updates photos it means you are going to start with small but lie (good to attract the first attention but bad to develope serious relations)
can be one more variant you have no photo-cam...if you have no photo-cam your incomes might be more than low...if your incomes more than low first you can't come (what for to speak with you?) second you may be don't work (what for to have the husband who can't work?) I try to show you the way of women logic

have you ever heard such joke?
The young man asks the elder one "What time is it now?"
The elder one thinks for a while than replys: "Go away!"
The young one can't understand what happened: "why are you so unpolite?"
The answer: "you see, you asked me the time... later we are friends...later you will ask if I have a daughter...than you will ask her hand!! What for do I need a son in the law if he has no watch"

Quote:

P.S. You see if you have no updates photos it means you are going to start with small but lie (good to attract the first attention but bad to develope serious relations)
can be one more variant you have no photo-cam...if you have no photo-cam your incomes might be more than low...if your incomes more than low first you can't come (what for to speak with you?) second you may be don't work (what for to have the husband who can't work?) I try to show you the way of women logic

Dear Olga,
You are truly magical and to the point as usual. I now know the magnetic attraction of this forum!! I appreciate your comments on my possible insolvent status. I am pleased to say my financial situation is quite sound, but you've made a valued point and I am listening… I know you were only giving an example of how I might be perceived but, the statement could also be implying that we the ‘men’ on these sites stand a better chance of success if we appear to be financially sound. Hmmmm... Nothing wrong with that of course because we all want to feel secure… especially when considering leaving all we’re used to e.g. family, friends, familiar surroundings, behind, (usually the ladies in this case)

For what it's worth I genuinely believe I'm a generous person but I would not like to think my possible contact here would purely be geared around the fact that I have a few dollars in the bank. I often read of the ladies on this site being wholesome, sincere and reliable, equally it is my belief this can be said for most of the men here also. Like myself, I think the men on this site (and not one with local ladies) are ready to give their all to the uncertainty of an on line contact, providing the all-round feeling is right, and naïve as it may sound, speaking for me personally I would not like to think that my new love life was ‘kick-start’ by my financial standing.

Quote:

have you ever heard such joke?
The young man asks the elder one "What time is it now?"
The elder one thinks for a while than replys: "Go away!"
The young one can't understand what happened: "why are you so unpolite?"
The answer: "you see, you asked me the time... later we are friends...later you will ask if I have a daughter...than you will ask her hand!! What for do I need a son in the law if he has no watch"

He might be the kind of guy who would stand in front of an on-coming truck to shield his daughter…

Best regards

yes this is the questions of "feel of secure" too...... but at the period of letters it is more the question of "can be any future from your speaking?"
ok you started...ok you have found that you are good to each other. If you can't come (you have no a few free dollars) it would be only long speaking and crush of the hopes...
ok the situation you came at last ...both of you understand that it was wonderful to meet each other....what else??? if you have no a few free dollars to bring her to your country? - as a result two crushed hearts and both suffer

sorry boys again I am materialistic

Sounds like you agree.

If your love is based on money there will never be enough to maintain her. The emptiness of this type of love grows greater over time. The lady makes this decision, what is enough. Be honest early so it does not hurt if she says it isn't.

The advice is sound, don't start if you can't afford to finish. Know the cost and prepare. It has taken me two years of overtime but I am certain I can bring her here, buy the ring she deserves. Supporting her here is no issue, getting here was. You men in the UK are very lucky, Russia is close. The cheapest flight is 1000 USD from the east coast.

Do not put yourself in a position of sending a tearful message to a woman you cannot have. Two broken hearts make an expensive lesson.

I am 43 I have been on this site awhile now. I dont get many responses either but the ones I did get were from great ladies who I found to be very sincere in there search for a man. The search is not something to be rushed. Take your time and enjoy the ride cause one day when you do find a lady the real work will begin! Then one day youll look back and remember what it took to meet this great gal! I found a great lady on this site and I never get many replies to my letters either. But her and I clicked. Soon I am going to Russia to meet her for the first time! Now iam nervous! lol... Believe me pal everybody loves somebody sometime. I know one day youll meet your match! Enjoy the search and I wish you the best!

@chiefrdh

I have been watching your profile pictures in the forum, good call on the change.

Hello to ChiefRDH...
Solarb Family is back. Las Vegas - 2 shows. Car to Lake Tahoe. Redwoods, Avenue of the Giants (incredible). San Francisco. Monterey. Hearst Castle. New colony of elephant seals now on the CA coast. Santa Barbara (a favorite TV show in Russia). Los Angeles, Hollywood, Beverly Hills (of high interest to my teenaged Russian). Venice Beach. Coronado. San Diego Zoo. Balboa. Back to Los Angeles, Hollywood, Beverly Hills. Back to Vegas for David Copperfield and our flight home. Twenty amazing days with my wife, daughter, mother-in-law. Not a moment of dispute and we shared 1 room at every stop. Any American who falls in love with a Russian woman--and keeps his part of the bargain, of course--should be a happy man for life.
Nearly 2 decades ago I started writing to Russian women when it was done by mail. I ordered several catalogues of profiles and reviewed over 2,000 profiles. Eventually visited my #1 choice in Yuzhno Sakhalinsk (an island N of Japan). Sent letters to as maybe 50. Heard back from 15-20. Had a #2 choice in Ekaterinburg. Would have married #1 but she was not ready. She asked if I would wait 2 years. In retrospect, I'm glad I didn't. Now that I have a more experienced perspective, I think she would have been difficult...maybe more of an arguer. I do not know how to spell the word for spoiled in English. It sounds like disporchunie.
You mentioned being a Christian. In most non-Muslim countries, a person keeps his religion as a private matter. In the US we are bombarded by Christian-this, Christian-that and in the South it used to be common for a person to be asked if he were Born Again. Other cultures are different. Maybe the Russian women will comment on this. When I give advice to Russians I tell them to be cautious about someone who leads with religion (any religion). By the way, a "Christian" in Russia tends to be very different from a "Christian" in America. They are almost always poor and they live more difficult lives (in their eyes you may be advertising your poverty). Instead of being the majority as Christians are here, they are in the minority. My wife and daugher are offended by American Christians who look down on them for being atheists. I understand the American Christian perspective. If finding a Christian woman is a "must" for you, your odds of succeeding on LP are probably reduced by 80%. A lot of the ladies list Christianity as their religion in the profiles; but they sure don't want to talk about it. You can find dating websites from South America, Central America and the Philippines where the majority religion is Catholicism. Otherwise, join a Christian American website. My career puts me in contact with many "good Christians" who are praying for me. Many wonderful women (especially their families) said no to me over the years because I am open about my atheism.
My experience with LP was similar to my experience with the magazine catalogues in one respect. I read all the profiles and made my #1 choice. She responded and is now my wife. I wrote to a few others but my heart was committed to Lyuda within 2 weeks. Email makes the process much quicker. We exchanged as many ideas in 2 weeks as I was able to cover in 6 months by snail mail. By the way, postal contact is much faster than it was 2 decades ago. Letters now take only a week.
Chief, I haven't seen your profile. My best photo was a tight close up of my face and smile. Your suit and tie photo comes across as impersonal. Someone hinted in a post that you may have changed your profile. Good luck.

This is a very good point! I'd say many will say they are Christian when asked about the religion, but they don't see it as a crucial part of their identity. And someone who starts talking about being Christian from the very beginning, may even come across as a fanatic. Perhaps, it's best to start talking about religion a bit later on, unless this is the most important thing for you in a girl.