Tips for new guys - Preparing, Searching, and Finding

CranberryTea,
You seem to understand everything exactly in the way I mean This is some nice experience for me

and yes - you are right - we, FSU people, have very creative minds it's one more our advantage
yes - you are right - FSU women are best in inspiration. The only thing man should do is not to stop and take it is "norm", as he reached and achieved everything.

so, thank you for this nice talk we had

It has been my pleasure Tinna.

I don't understand what your trying to say here Kyle? When I refer to Euro woman as babes it means that I find them beautiful. And for your information I was not going for the most beautiful woman on the website. As a matter of fact the girl was only moderate looking compared to some of the other woman who have written to me on this website. Not to be self centered but I can say I am not an ugly guy, and I have a great personality. I have no problems finding woman who are interested in me. It is me who is not interested in them, therefor I search afar for something I cannot find here. I picked her because we had much more in common then the other girls. I did not base my search on looks, instead it was her personality which enhanced her beauty. And obviously it was not real, did not know that then but know it now.

As for your comment, I can see your a miserable person. If you think anyone deserves to be used and heart broken, then I will call you out for what you are, an idiot. It's not like im some 60 year old man dating a 20 year old woman who is too beautiful for me, and setting myself up for failure.

Looks like your the one who is going to have problems finding love, with your optomistic attitude on life. As for me im not worried, I will find my love, that is what Im looking for and that is what I deserve.

Don't let it bother you Svit. He is a forum troll and bully here. Most of us have incurred his wrath. If my hunch is correct he got himself kicked off the forum for rule violations.

As we have meantioned this already...have an advice - only advice I don't declaire this is a standing rule.
Don't refere to the girl (woman) at your first letter "kitten" "baby" and ect. Try to use her name.

Once I have got from a man the first letter - it was written "Hello kitten, I am your tiger. The lenth of my penice is***". Till now I do not know what made me to laugh more the fact that im a kitten or the fact that it is necessary to take a ruler and to check up if he tells the truth. As for me I didn't answer this pilot-letter...not sure there are many normal women who will. I think he is crazy - good that it is clear seen from the first letter

I wanted to write "as it was mentioned earlier"

strange we can't edit text at all - not good

I think you have limited time to edit. Mine are often editable for a few minutes.

If a woman gets a message like that it is a clear indication he is here to play. These types of men are looking for someone to shock. As you say, they are mentally ill.

-I was able to add this edited text-

That is right. You have 1 minute to make the final adjustments to your message.

At the risk of getting a lot of negative feedback and several replies telling me that I am a terrible person way off the track I must give my contribution regarding "Tips For New Guys". First of all if anyone pays 10 gran to find the woman they want they are definitely doing several things wrong. I am not a poet nor do I think I am a master letter writer but I do know how to effectively communicate and use the words needed to get results and the truth from those I choose to communicate with. I have had experience with several scammers and with a little experience and attention to certain words or phrases they are not difficult to recognize....many of them are not very original with their scam and at times it almost seems that there might be a "scam" manual they are consulting or someone who routinely helps them with what to write or say which may account for the sameness in many of their scams. I have in the past 3 years spent time in Argentina, Moscow (twice) and St. Petersburg trying to find the correct woman to compliment my life. I went as far as getting a fiancee visa for the woman from Argentina and she spent 88 days in my home. She returned because I found out that the old saying "hot latin temper" is defintely not just a saying - she was angry or upset nearly every day about any and all things. Not a way I wish to live. Anyway to get back to the 10 gran expense - I carefully and respectfully talked and talked and discussed with all of the women every aspect and every facet of what a marriage with me might be like. When the relationship finally reached the level (there were many dead ends) when the woman herself suggested that I could stay with her and that she did trust that I was a gentleman the relationship and the potential of the relationship went thru the roof. Any woman who would trust a man enough to say she will stay with him is a woman that is very serious in her search and a woman who truly wishes to see if the 2 are compatible. Each one that invited me had my love and respect before I left home, also my respect for the courage and determination they had to have to make such a decision. In Argentina I stayed with the woman and her mother, in St Petersburg I stayed (with the woman) in an upstairs bedroom in the house of her sister and in Moscow both times I payed to rent a furnished apartment that both women went out and found - about $30 dollars US a day. I will explain the most expensive situation - the woman from Argentina. Round trip on Lans Airline (Chile) was $1100, no hotel fee, about 500 dollars spent on food, travel, sight seeing and restaurants, cinema, etc, etc. (500 dollars US equals 1500 dollars in Argentina) The expert immigration attorney I used (she did all of the work, I just filled out some papers and sent her the documents she requested) cost me $1800 and the visa was $455. Because of the uncertainty involved I would suggest buying the woman a round trip ticket when she comes (it is cheaper than a one way ticket) with the return flight scheduled several days before her visa expires, just in case. That ticket was bought enough in advance to save some money - $900. So all together I went as far as to bring the woman to me and then sent her home for under 5 thousand dollars. It takes work and a lot of effort and a lot of understanding but it can be done, the trips to Moscow were less than 4 thousand dollars with all expenses. I will continue my search (up to 3 visas can be gotten by one man) until I can find what I want. I hope I have not offended anyone or sounded like a bad person, actually I just want to be sure and do the right thing for my future.

Olga, I read the womens forum.

If I understand the responses, you do not understand. I will not appologize for wanting this, but you did not understand the full context.

There are women who will not be happy unless they are free to raise their children and keep the home. It becomes their career and they are content. Should not a woman have this option? If a man can support his family and the wife can stay home should she choose to work when it will make her unhappy? For us it is not my demand, I found a woman who told me this is what she wanted. We will have children together and she will be with them everyday because she wishes to, not because I dictate it. She is not a child, she has her degree, she has her career, and she found it a hollow and empty life because she could not spend time with her child. So she found a man that believes no one will raise a child better than the mother. One willing to work hard outside the home to give this joy to her.

So if a woman chooses to stay home, does it not show love for the family and husband if she manages what needs to be done? Should a man be expected to work ten hours and come home to work three more so that the woman may do nothing during the day? Should not this man be free after work to spend his time enjoying his wife and children?

To address another comment, in my view if the woman is working and studying the couple share the tasks equally. I am not a man that will let my wife do all the work while I sit on the couch with a bottle of beer and a football game. But I am a man who will want to be with his wife and children as much as I possibly can. As men we miss much because we are away at work. I would gladly trade my career and never quibble about domestic duties if I had the option to be with my children every day. In our case I do not.

And finally, if she changes her mind at some point we will adapt. We will hire a maid so that we will be able to spend our home time with our children rather than sharing the household duties. With two salaries this will not be a problem.

Women who want to be mothers and wives should be honored, not looked down upon. So I came here, where I could find a woman who wanted this life. I do not look at women from the FSU as a stereotype, an enslaved housewife. But apparently some women choose to believe that all men are the same. They believe we are Russian men because that is all they have ever known. We are not.

I will work days, I will go to night school so that I can give us a better life. She will raise our children and be free to be the woman she is, loving wife and mother. My effort is my gift to her and her effort is a gift to me. This is what a love is supposed to be, sacrificing our selfish pleasure for the needs of the other. I hope one day you all find what we have found so you will truly understand. Feel free to post my resonse on the womens forum.

I couldn't find anything offensive in your post. I see the difference, and you are right you could do it more cheaply.

Let me break down my numbers.

1000 for the flight to meet from the East Coast
500 for visa processing
1000 for her to fly back when the K1 is done
1000 for her child to fly (pretty common)
1800 for an immigration attorney
_____
5300

Add a 1/3 of a carat diamond ring in a decent setting and you have 10 grand. That is if you find the right one on the first try, sounds like you have already spent more than 10Gs in your search. The number was based on total end cost. But I see your point, if you are clever you can get by with less.

Why do you think I don't understand???
I did Interpreted your words roughly at the ladies forum (took only the part of your post) to see the responses at the main stereotype "the FSU women have a great wish to stay at home". You asked Tinna what does she think about if all women really want to be only home-wifes.
So as you see we have got responses. One girl told that she is not against to stay at home if her man can provide the family but there was also a comment that young girl doesn't consider she is skill enough to keep the house but she is a talented person to earn enough money in order to ask somebody to do this for her.

If you read my words attentively I did told that if two persons love each-other they will find there own right way to solve such questions... even if he started the search with the idea "Honestly, I came here because I do not want to do anything in the home"

yes very good to know the men do take the Position of the leader at the questions of the family... certainly I shall share with girls your way of thinking about the life. Seems your girl is lucky to find you.


By the way may be we shall ask the boys who did start the search with the idea "the man is going to do the work at home"

to cranberrytea......
I would advise against leaving any woman with a valuable diamond ring - I have talked to several men who lost the investment when the woman "suddenly" had a change of heart. Any man who is looking for a wife I hope is also looking for a woman with intelligence and understanding and the ability to accept a modestly priced "promise" ring. With the knowledge that upon stepping off the plane in the man's country she will be given the proper ring or rings. Yes I have spent more than 10 gran total for my search but I also have learned much, had beautiful attractive personal tour guides for all of the mentioned countries, gotten to know on a very personal level women of different continents and very different cultures and fell in love each time. Only my insistence on finding a compatible mate made me to continue the search. The woman from Argentina had it all except for the fact that she had told me that she was tranquil and did not anger easily. In my last post I neglected to include the country of Brazil which is the most beautiful and interesting country I have seen thus far and my American cell phone worked there with no problems! I must confess that the women of Russia are probably the most beautiful, most intelligent, most desirable on the planet but also the most calculating and possibly the most devious also, with Ukranian women a very close second. The Latin women are more simple and definitely in tune with and accepting of their sexuality but there is the temper issue and the issue of staying angry for days at a time. If we could just make a hybrid from the 2 all would be good....... JUST JOKING! I would welcome any further conversation in this realm, I have much experience to share but also am sure that others here could teach me a lot. And possibly help all who care to read.

Olga, perhaps I spoke in haste. In America women who stay home with their children are scorned. It is a great injustice and it will always strike a raw nerve with me. So I have said my words and am past it. Please forgive me if I was rude in my response.

I have begun to think about it, and I wonder if the women of the FSU really know how easy life is here for a woman. I cannot speak to life in Europe, but unless she is on the brink of poverty she has all major appliances, a dishwasher, cloths washer and dryer, vacuums, some households even purchase little robots to sweep the floor or mop for them. For a time I shared the housework with my ex, and I was able to do my part in about an hour a day with the help of the machines. I prepared the meals and cleaned the kitchen. So I would say that the real drudgery of housework is dead here. A woman could keep a perfect home in a few hours a day except for the time she spends with the children. I would be more concerned with the boredom. After a woman masters the language she has a lot of free time to pursue her interests.

I have a friend who's uncle has a Ukrainian wife. He came home to find his wife on her knees cleaning the wood floor and was very upset. We work to keep the women we love from things like this. We would see it is degrading.

[quote Olga You asked Tinna what does she think about if all women really want to be only home-wifes. [/quote]

Olga, has CranberryTea really asked me this ? Sorry, I must have missed this question.

In my opinion - of course not . Not everyone. I have a feeling that staying at home only as well as total dedication to career after marriage with a foreign husband are 2 extremes. They do not happen to often among the ladies who search foreign men.

Most of the women would prefer to have some job (not too much requiring, less hours, less responsibilities) -- with emphasizing on family and children. Those who are realistic also understand that to find a well-paid job in another country is not an easy matter. At least takes time and efforts.
So, I would say the most common way is this "middle" one. But it is possible to find any type of woman. We have mentality of Western and Asian people - mixed one. It gives a big choice of hair and eyes' colors as well as tempers, believes and ways of thinking.