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 Post subject: Re: Is not visiting the home and family a deal breaker
PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 5:16 am 
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*** Message deleted *** please post in English


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 Post subject: Re: Is not visiting the home and family a deal breaker
PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 9:45 am 
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askanamericanman wrote:
She will be a lot more relaxed if she feels safe and in her environment. Women get a lot of support and advice from each other so a meeting on her turf is more comfortable. I would say she should visit before you marry to see who you are day to day but I wouldn't start off that way.

Ladies, would you agree?


I would say it depends. We all are different :) So, I know many women who would prefer to meet in the place where their man is from or another way - to meet somewhere else, at 3d place..
I have had not too much experience in dating. The one I had I do not feel sorry about (even that there is nothing between us at the end). I was coming twice to a man. He had less vacation days, so it was comfortable for both of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Is not visiting the home and family a deal breaker
PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 11:59 pm 
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In response to the original question...

I don't think it's a deal breaker - at least not for me. My lady friend and I decided to spend our first meeting on a holiday in Crimea. And while I expressed an interest in visiting her home city of Nikolaev, she prefers to wait until a second meeting before introducing me to her family and friends. Her reasoning is that if I visit a second time, she will "Know I am her man", and would feel more comfortable with introducing me to her family.

While a little disappointed, the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. I really prefer to focus my attention on her exclusively anyway, as opposed to having the distraction of family and friends around. If our relationship turns out to be as good as we believe it is, then all will be well, and if not - then she is saved any possible embarrassment of bringing some foreign guy around the family who was of no consequence.

Wish me luck... I'm going to Ukraine in August!


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 Post subject: Re: Is not visiting the home and family a deal breaker
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 7:25 pm 
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yes!!!!!! if i went through all the trouble and money and got nothing, no more!!!!! :evil: :twisted: :shock: :roll:


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 Post subject: Re: Is not visiting the home and family a deal breaker
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 8:40 pm 
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kenc wrote:
yes!!!!!! if i went through all the trouble and money and got nothing, no more!!!!! :evil: :twisted: :shock: :roll:


Really?? So you are saying that NOT meeting her family equates to getting nothing? What is it you hope to "get" from her family I wonder? And if it is so troublesome and expensive, why bother? Surely there are less troublesome and expensive ways to get what you seek.


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 Post subject: Re: Is not visiting the home and family a deal breaker
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 10:10 pm 
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I think the whole issue with not meeting the family that some people are upset about is the fact that the man is putting all this time, effort, and money into going to see the lady. He isn't just going over there to have fun and playhe is very serious about finding true love and wants as much support as he can get. It takes alot of a man to go meet with these woman.

When the woman doesnt present him to the family it puts doubt in his mind that the woman is serious about the relation. If a woman does not want you to meet her family it tells me she is not being completly honest with me or she is hiding me from something. If I am going to travel halfway across the world to meet with a woman I don't want to have any secrets.

Is she hiding me from the family because she is ashamed or embarrased about meeting online? If she can't accept the fact that your meeting online and it brings her shame or embarrasment, how do you think the rest of the relationship is going to be? If she is not proud enough to show you to her family then that means she is not interested in you. Every person I know who is proud of someone or enjoys someone wants to share them with the people they hold most dear. In my eyes it shows me that this woman is secretive and/or so they say skeletons in her closet. As for me Im not going to take the next step with a woman who is hiding me from her family, I feel it is very disrespectful. If she is not proud to have me by her side and to show me to her loved ones, then she is a waste of my time, I will go find someone who does respect me, and who is happy to be seen with me.


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