An observation...

wow another sad story svit, I couldn't even imagine what your going through, I wish you the best.......

I am sorry to hear that story about what happened to you.None of what happened was your fault and it sounds like you gave her your all so you have nothing to be sorry about.
One bit of advice i will say is not to get serious with women so young as they do not know their own mind i`d say at least until they are 30.
There are many good women on this site,so do not give up and let one failure put you off,you have much to offer so best of luck!

The truth is she isn't ready for a marriage. It's typical for a 21-year-old girl. She is beautiful, she wants to have fun and attract as many brave policemen as possible.

Did you beg her for days to come to America? Did she say no many times?

At least, you've spent wonderful time at the best places with a stunning girl. However, the tale is over.

Call her sister in 4 years and ask if the girl is still available. Then she'll be ready for marriage.

I see you are a lucky stiff...so many different beds...are not you afraid? Strange why I am? May be I am a coward???

svit, very sad to hear your story but I am agree with boys - 21 is a wind at the head. Just after the school: knows nothing about life and people...just does own first steps in own life...drunk from freedom of adult life....hmmm - nothing serious at the mind.
As for you - look yourself - you had a wonderful year full of love and dreams. What could be like your 2009 year with out these emotions? May be only grey boring days with doctors...she made you to visit Italy to get strong feelings - you will never forget these days...I think happy days - or not?

svit, can I ask? Are you still in seach? What is the main now for you? - to take vengeance on smb?

I do not know if I am lucky or not. If I find again the love I search for maybe I will consider myself lucky. About "so many beds" - I do not look at it that way, it is an important part of the search process. After the marriage is too late to find that there are fundamental differences that will not allow the relationship to grow and be successful. And I do love women, they are the best things that this planet has to offer and any woman who will let down her defenses and have very personal interaction with me will always have a place in my heart and memory. I pride myself on being sure that any encounter is mutually beneficial and not just for my benefit. What can be more beautiful than two actual strangers coming together and sharing one of life's greatest and most personal adventures to be rememberd forever

Olga yes I shall have my revenge mwhahahah (Joking). No I am not going to hold her actions against the rest of the woman in the world. I am going to keep my head up and look for another woman who will be fitting for me. Yes your also right I did have a wonderful time in another country and will have great memories for the rest of my life. Its better this happend to me now instead of a couple of years down the road. But I am doing well and Life goes on.

And barabaika yes I agree I have learned my lesson to not go for woman of her age. From now on Its 25 and older . She seemed very mature for her age and I had no indiction what so ever this was going to happen. The relationship flowed smoothly and seemed flawless, and no I did not have to beg her to come to the USA lol. The relationship was perfect up to the approval of the K1.
And thanks for the advice on calling the sister in 4 years but I think im going to pass on that one. This woman showed me her true colors during this event, she would leave me because I am temporarily injured for a few months. The way I look at it is Oh well her loss and she probably just saved me a whole lot of heartache in the future.

rogerm222, I will be sure to contact immigration to atleast document the incident incase she tries to do it to someone else. And hopefully she is on her plane in a month like she is supposed to be and doesnt become an illegal.

And to everyone else thank you for your support. My friend once told me of an old saying and I think It goes well with this situation. I will quote it now, "There are plenty of fish in the sea, it's not your fault you snagged a F'd up tuna."

Don't be naive, a beautiful 21-year-old lady can easily find a nice policeman in Belarus. He won't have means to fly to Italy often, that'll be his only flaw. That was the reason she found you.

barabaika,

I am curious why you are on this site? Surely any lady here could find a local man if they wanted a local man! I think that the idea is "they DON"T want a local man", just as we do not want a local woman.

We all search for someone different than what we see and experience everyday. In that way, we are very adventurous people.

When I read your posts, most of them reflect the idea that we are stupid to try... why is that?

I seriously do not understand your thinking or what you are hoping to achieve here? Obviously you could leave Irvine, Ca and could return home and find a nice girl if they will have you.. so what do you look for here? Are you having any luck finding it?

This topic is about 18-22 year old girls. They are very different from 25+ ladies; especially, if these ladies are divorced and have kids. The former aren't looking to marry a local or distant guy, they're looking for fun. But there are exceptions. If you're looking for a younger lady, you have to visit many of them and expect to be dumped.

I don't criticize anybody, I just share my ideas.
My main idea: don't put all your eggs in one basket. Explore other dating sites, there are thousands of them. Don't commit to a distant girl, you're nobody to her. Talk with others, too.

I personally decided to go to a place where I can meet many girls. I'll check when it's warm there, and communicate with ladies beforehand. I'm not desperate.

Do you think it's easy to find a girl who would like to move to another country, especially, when the country is in the dire crisis?

Well, that makes sense!.. I couldn't get a handle on what you were describing!

In that case,I definitely agree... I think what is interesting is that most people this age just don't realize how much their desires will change over the next few years. Perhaps she arrived and simply got "cold feet".

It all sounded like a fantasy, then when she arrived, and started thinking about committing for a lifetime, it all became TOO REAL, and she simply got scared. Who know's?.. but I DO feel bad that this happened and I hope they have better luck next time.

I think this is a huge mistake.

An ideal man in woman's mind doesn't look cheap and doesn't act stingy.
He wears an elegant suit, he invites her to a posh restaurant, he gives her a small piece of jewelry...
It's kind of a test.

When you stay with her all day, you won't be able to look ideal. Moreover, she'll be anxious that you can be a maniac.

You are free to have your opinion however I choose to be serious in my search and I must do what works for me. I never said that I do not have things like a good suit or that we never did anything that took money, including going to nice restaurants. And I always have with me from the states things like a very nice watch or a nice gold necklace to give to the woman in question. After I spend a little time with her and evaluate her motives. There are points to be made with your statements about not being cheap or stingy... but I am not looking for a materialistic woman who will measure a man or her love for him by how much he spends on her or how many gifts he has. It is not a good way to begin a relationship and unless you are prepared to continue such things after the marriage the woman may have a problem with you. And I am not sure what you mean about not being "ideal" if you spend every day with the woman. My goal is to only find someone who is compatible with me - on a daily basis. Once you marry I think you will be with her every day? I can only say from experience that spending intimate personal and revealing time together is the best path for me. I have no regrets and the time I spent with my first wife were well worth the effort. If doing what is needed for me in a sensible and intelligent manner and engaging the issue with purpose and serious goals makes me a maniac I guess I am one. One footnote, every lady I spent time with were ready and willing to marry me if I chose them which seems to make me a tolerable "maniac".

Well both barabaika and pdoss have valid points but barabaika is wrong in another based on my personal experience.
The age thing is correct i have done this and he is correct the odds ,which is an important factor ,are very very small that an 18-22 year old will marry and will often get cold feet. HOWEVER ONE VERY IMPORTANT FACTOR and please take this into consideration....her city of origin. I will explain ,a woman from moscow or st petersberg or kiev for example has very different expectations than say a girl from lviv ,kharkov ,donestk,omsk or similar for example and this is where i sort of agree with pdoss. Spending money is not the answer and in all walks of life its the same. Its a question of your level of culture, eastern women ,intelligent ones that is ,enjoy learning are very interested in conversation about many subjects and having simple manners and etiquet will make all the difference for a real honest woman,with real morals and genuine integrity. It is a myth that this is what they want....thats the city women very different life styles and different expectations.
Group meetings are fine if you want to have some fun and meet loads of ladies but if your serious and ready do it privately and spend simple quality time. Its your mind and the chemistry that is most important remember a young russian (25+ i agree with barabaika here) thinks beyond just looks and money find out about her background you will find a distinct difference...trust me on this .
Hey...its no different than in our own countries and London woman wants something diff than say a woman from a yorkshire town like mine. Remember this when your chatting and learning about potential wifes of the future....what do you want in a woman....whats your 3 things at the top of your list and ask her the same.
Be honest and ask for honesty in return.
Good luck everyone

This I CAN say.. beyond a doubt.

After I began speaking with the ladies, I have noticed that the ladies that are from smaller towns seems MORE interested in ME. Their questions and conversations are more focused on family, and what would make us happy as a couple.

While the ladies from larger cities seem to be focused on what we could DO as a couple. Where will we live? Do I travel? What do I do for fun? What is my job, etc.?

Obviously, I travel and have fun. I am a normal person who wishes to enjoy my life. Only ONE was interested in my income. She herself makes a good income (Doctor) and I suppose is afraid to loose her lifestyle . A nice, intelligent woman, but it seemed to me that she would not be focused on me and family as much as her career.
If i was interested in a career woman, there are several million here in America to choose from... get in line!

I have now pretty much settled on a lady from a smaller Ukrainian town. We have been speaking "off-site" now for many months. I find her to be honest, sincere, intelligent and "down to earth". Let's see what happens.