Ladies' Opinion

>>>rogerm222 don't be angry with me!
Olga:

My earlier post mentioned four ladies. It appears two found their man, two have not. The glass is half full, or half empty. Unfortunately it appears Alla (that is not her real name) has become more desperate. Her ads are on many web sites and she has resorted to posting pictures of herself in silly lingerie poses. The four ladies were real, i didn't make it up. I did change the names. I have no problem with your honest reactions. One or two other responses seem to be a bit "canned".

It is better to be single and happy, than in a bad relationship. Men don't want a desperate lady either. As the previous man mentioned, it is extremely helpful to be internet knowledgable to increase your success on the internet sites. Some others might suggest just sitting on the front porch waiting in your rose colored sunglasses. That doesn't help your chances much. Do a google.com search and find new ideas on internet dating and how to increase your responses. Also learn to recognize and avoid the losers. Also search on "ukraine sex tourism" and see what to watch out for.

>>I appreciate your advices great but maybe there is advice also how to overcome some contradictions: how to connect the wish to trust with «check, check and check». No love can grow with out trust but «check, check and check» doesn't include trust. I know it is usual for western people the marriage contract...I know nobody in Ukraine who did the same. Maybe it is foolish and you will have great problems at the future (and yes we do really always have) but to write a contract when you are in love is very strange here. Love means trust first of all — at least for me.
>>By the way it took me 3 years to overcome my period «all men are bad» and to find at last my rose colored sunglasses. I have compared - believe me the world seems to be much better now when it is pink and not black.
>>Certainly «canned» — I am at dating near 1 year. It means 1 year every day thinking about one topic...of course I have already some stable ideas...I think everyone has.
For example: the best age difference is 10-15 years... not more — because again it is the problem of trust... just because great difference between the interests.
or I have also this one "canned":
What shall I lose:
1)my relatives — I can't be near if my mother needs me
2)my friends — good friends who are ready to help not only to speak
3)my job — moneyless but really interesting and not hard with friendly and funny co-workers
4)my language — everybody around will think I am foolish because I can't speak... hmmm — I don't believe they will think I am very clever because so wordless
5)10 years of education useless at all
6)my quiet life...so I shall get study, adaption, new laws and rules, language barrier, the feel I am helpless in every question
7)it seems as if I lose my world
What can make me to lose everything?
1) I adore his smile, hands, smell
2) he is so clever — nobody can be compared even
3) we are stable
4) I am not alone when my child is adalt
5) I can see the world at last


PS why do you try to get information about these 4 ladies??? I think your own destiny might be more interesting for you than the future of all ladies at the world. What about you?- did you find your soult-mate? (I don't ask in order to get the answer - I want just to make you to pay attention for your own life)

Olga, you are an amazing woman, I appreciate people like you more than words can say.
Sincerely.

I also agree with you about the travel-language assistance. Women and men are looking for
similar things. And I doubt anyone would be on this site to offer that kind of service.

As for the forum. I don't believe it is a good place to converse with women to find a partner.
This site is probably the best I have found, although I have not found anyone in the 4 years
as a member. On another site they allow women and men to freely chat in an open forum.
It makes the pure water muddy and bad tasting. Everything that can go wrong...does.

For now I will be patient, looking and waiting for the right moment/person...

I have had such high hopes to meet Snezhana, from Belgium.... Exactly the type I adore.

Hi!

I would like to hear your opinions, especially from the Ukrainian/Russian Ladies here.

I am new to the forum and I am not sure if this is off-topic or not, but here goes:

When is it appropriate to remove or hide your profile?

What is the cultural normal and polite thing in Russia and Ukraine?

Thank you all.

I'll begin with one possible answer to Jettero. As soon as I began corresponding seriously with Lyuda I changed my general purpose message and added that fact. Something like, "I have met someone on this site and am looking foward to meeting her in April." Lyuda was never jealous and, besides that, I never got a flood of mail. Occasionally someone would write, "I like your message, and I wish you luck with the lady you have met."
Some visitors to this forum must wonder why a guy who has found a wonderful wife from LoversPlanet is still posting messages and visiting the site. I have explained this a few times, but a newcomer would not necessarily read all the old posts. For one thing, Lyuda has friends and her mother on this site. I am a booster for them. I'm also hopelessly romantic ("You've Got Mail" is one of my favorite movies). Every time I sign on to this site I get a flash of hope for all the other ladies and men who are using this system. I know from my own experience how many dreams are wrapped into the web visits you make. I also know, statistically, that a lot of people won't fulfill their dreams. Either they won't make a "magic and lucky" connection or other realities of life will get in the way. We certainly don't win the lottery every time we buy a ticket. But the process of striving to fullfill one's dreams is a positive activity in and of itself. I buy a lottery ticket every week and each time I smile and envision myself winning. At $2 a week for 15 years, I've spent over $1,500 on lottery tickets. Some people think that's a waste of money. I think it's a small investment from which I get a large return of hope.
Having visited this site many time, I "know" many of the faces as friends. I have not communicated with these friends, but I feel their hopeful energy each time I see their face. I have clicked on many profiles. I read what they say and also try to read between the lines and understand what their life is like and what they are hoping for. Maybe some forum readers won't understand this, but it works for me.
This afternoon my wife is going to a baby shower for a Russian friend. Her friend is from Yakutsk, one of the coldest places on Earth...but Ksenia is not cold any more. Tonya (my 15-year-old daughter) and I are going to a show with two Ukrainian ladies, one American husband, and a teenage daughter of the couple). Life is good. I hope it can work out this well for some of you.

Pressing DEL by a strong arm.

The other day I had some time to settle my old contacts, unnecessary yet, unneeded litters, useless photos. And I discovered with a pleasure that I did this for several times before. There were no more of complete nobodies who had showered me with their correspondence during my dating. May be, I’d had some time yet to get rid of that rubbish of naked trunks and dull thoughts. That time came turn of my more prolonged affairs in messages and photos. I sorted out those whom I’d like to keep in touch with, those whom I corresponded with, who were a workable (real) variant.

Then the time came to press DEL on the folders with photos. I didn’t look them over any more wishing not to stir up old feelings. All this stuff had remained in my past yet. But even when their fate was decided once and for all, I felt myself a little bit sad vanishing them away from my life. May be, they were not the best, the smartest, the most handsome. But they were my teachers. They taught me English – to get to the meaning through their numerous accents, not to hesitate to ask questions for better understanding if something was unclear to me, to speak – slowly and with many mistakes but still to speak. They taught me to understand the man’s true intentions when the words “I want to marry you” meant “I just want to chatter a nice and smart woman”, taught me to trust not words but deeds, not to give up when a relationship finished not just with parting (whatever it was, peaceful or rude, but we said farewells to each other) but simply with escape. I looked at a folder with the name important to me some time ago being moved to the bin and recalled in my memory the owner of that folder- who was he, what did he do for living, our talks and plans we made together. Unfortunately the only road opened to all this at the moment was the road to the bin.

The first in my list and the most difficult and sore point was Dieter, the head of the Lebanon representative office of an Austrian firm. Formerly I thought that my search would stop on this man. Heaps of photos, incredibly interesting letters, morning and evening calls….. But the real meeting was put off till autumn ‘cause, you see, it’s too hot in Africa in summer…And it turned out after all that it was not worth the trouble for him to finish the divorce process, it was better to leave it all as it was….

The next one was Jan, a university lecturer from Holland and later a free-lancer who made some handicrafts getting some trifling sum for this. I banned him myself after I got acquainted with his financial statements. He was not much sorry about that, I suppose since it came out that a leg was going to be amputated to his mother sick with diabetes.
Here is another Dutch freak Jaak by name, my epileptic treasure got mad about me. God be praised, blazing flare extinguished in two weeks. The messages he’d bombarded me with I still can’t clean out of my mobile.

Here you are another Dutchman, Martin by name. This uneducated fellow had however his own wood-working business and was registered in my card index as a Parquet floor layer. Twice he came into the picture and then rubbed off from it. Had a sort of a steady financial position or just talked about that. But what he surely had was a very small penis. When he boasted of it in front of the camera, I hardly managed to catch my jaw with both hands to stop it from falling on to my desk. In return for the reasons he only knew he created a new nickname Rina-and-Marten in Skype in memory about our unforgettable acquaintance. I was really astonished when came across it searching him for one more time again.

My other multiseries Dutch affair was Herard or simply Heh. I wouldn’t be much surprised to know that he still looks at my photos and cries being discouraged to send me his “Hello” for the fifth time. The man who could easily leave me on my own with no explanations for three times and then took much offence when I mailed him not to ever bother me and to forget my name.

I deleted with a light heart the folder with an Italian guy Henrico. Two tiny photos and a three-month bother. He was an experienced Romeo and I ‘m still unable to separate truth from lies in his tales. He told me that I know everything about him except one little secret. This secret appeared not as little as he tried to present. And it was grate I learned that trifle having ejected him yet. It came out that he was 10 sm. lower from what he’d written in his profile and 7 sm. lower than me barefooted. Thanks God, we didn’t meet. Surely I couldn’t survive after that.

How many of them happened on my way during the dating time? Was that number big or small? I don’t know. The most important that they just were and helped me to advance. Now it is difficult to fool me with fine words longer then for two days period. I improve my English and now able to watch movies in original sound. I stopped to imagine a wedding ring on my finger after the first “Hi!” I’ve learned not to wait and not to but off the top of my head. And I’m going to get all what I dreamed !

Thank you , my men – past, present and future.

Rina forgot to mention that here she has put a small part from one chapter of her book...it was written on the basis of her experience in search. The book is finished already, and here she has translated almost the end of the book. We have read everything, but it was a Russian variant of her book. As Rina by a profession a psychologist she managed to put her emotions and thoughts she had during the dating on a paper. In her book she summarises and describes the basic types of man's characters which we can meet in the Internet....and different cases.

for example mikeucovich I feel very bad you had an accident in Vietnam but only if this is a truth...After I have met 5 or more men who couldn't come or asked me money because of such accidents...so I don't believe about any more. Sorry if my doubts can hurt you. If any girl shall ask my advice "what to do - my virtual man had an accident?" - I would like to tell her "stop speaking with him at all search another one".


Boys, you are right "Even pretty girls can wish to have a husband and children"..... but it is impossible - the man says: "bring me this girl, I want she loves me" and any agency brings him "the enamoured woman".
Do not use any go-between. Build your relations yourself. Select a nice character among those who are attractive for you.
Very often agencies exist because they teach the girls how to ask money from the man when he is not pleasant for her or do this themselves (sometimes the girl even doesn't know about).

Barabayka was strange to hear from you "I would show my photo and the girl's photo to somebody else to evaluate our compatibility." - who can know better than you if you are common??? Who can tell you take this girl but don't take that???? Wife is not a toy - nobody can give you an advice by photo. Do you choose your friends by photo???? - show somebody else and ask: "can he be my friend?"

Olga..

It's good to see you posting again... I hope you have a very happy holiday and new year.

Well I have to say that to say I lie about an accident without any knowllage is a bold statement and you base this on what? I guess I should post my medical reports? Don't worry I lost contact with the lady i was in contact with so your advice to her was taken...
Please if you wish to slander someone please find someone else to do it too.

The more I read and think about this the more it upsets me. Why do some people feel the need to slander others if nothing more than to insinuate the possibility of a lie, yes that’s slander. I have not attacked anyone’s character nor would I, especially without any first hand knowledge. I take special offence in the fact that someone who has never met me nor had communication with me has advised others to seek someone other than me. What brass! I will leave this site and seek another as this site has allowed someone who has no knowledge or any facts to slight me. I have received an e-mail from one of the ladies who says I now have no credibility? Very shallow to say the least, I had attempted to contact my lost connection only to hear nothing in return and who can blame them with advice to move on coming from a posting by one person.
I wish everyone here the very best of luck with your search, as I hope you all find the happiness and love we all seek.

Mike

Mike,

I would like to stay in touch.. let me know where you end up. Sorry this happened to you Bro., I agree with you 100%. This least they could do would be to ask you what happened and take the time to communicate with you before they condemn you.

It seems there is more than enough suspicion at the ladies site, that they should never question our hesitation to make commitments until we are satisfied that all seems normal and correct.

Thanks Scotty, perhaps I’m being overly sensitive however I have always held the high ground when it comes to honesty and integrity. How one ladies opinion and lady I might add has had no idea of who I am or of the truth can influence others, is beyond belief. I had hoped to resume contact with the lady I lost, however I now see that as next to impossible. I hope she finds her hearts desire as I have the same hope for all those who truly seek love. Barabayka had a post which told of an organized event to bring people together perhaps that’s the way to go? Scotty I do hope to find a way to stay in contact and wish you the best. One last thing beware of people who feel the need to attack your character.

Mike

Thanks Mike

Thanks you should delete this post now keep yourself safe.

mikeucovich, although her doubts were related to 5 other accidents I don't think she meant to attack you personally, if so I would find her opinion entirely offensive as well, I'm actually suprised she used your accident as a example to advise the other ladies, with that in mind I understand your complaint. Good luck to you, hope you stick around.....