Ladies' Opinion

>What do you think if woman had meeting with you and in one day with another man and in one day with else one and said you: I just want to know who is better for me, which was your reaction??

Hi Alena,
I wouldn't like it....but for the right lady I would throw my hat in the ring and not be afraid of a little competition.

Speaking of reality, I happened to see the Latvia lady on a couple of dating web sites last month. It has been ten years since I wrote to her. She is a fine quality person, a music teacher. I think she will find a good man, but it isn't always easy.

I usually didn't like dealing directly with the agencies during my trips. But one trip, I had a couple of free days at the end. My young lady interpreter friend told me about a friend of hers that ran a marriage agency nearby. I thought why not, lets go check it out. We go up an elevator that felt like it might fall apart any second. Inside she shows me the catalog of lady profiles. I open them up. There are the usual ladies on the front pages with the bikini and lingerie photos. Hmm, one of the bikini ladies looks interesting though. She's out of my league, but what the heck, I'm on vacation, maybe a short interview with her will spice up my week. I jot down her profile number. I don't think I would bet a months pay on things working out with her though, so I search harder for someone at "my level". I finally find Alla, a nurse who seems to be a good match. I finish looking through the catalog, see another lady, Nataly, near the back. Her interests and ideas match up exactly with mine. But her photos have no glamour, no smile, just sad looks. I think she might be a "diamond in the rough" though and jot down her number too. I take my "shopping list" to the agency owner. She smiles, and tells me she also has an ad in the catalog. I smile and say "oh, really, what page are you on?", trying not to be rude. She says she'll try calling the ladies right now, and I take a few minutes to go back through the catalog again and pretend to look at her profile. To my surprise, the 5x8 glossy bikini lady told her she could meet the next day for lunch at 1pm. She calls the other two ladies. Let's take a guess at how the conversations might go. Alla answers the phone and replies "Hmm, is he a 'winner' or just another loser? Do you thnk he's a good match for me? Yes, fine, I can be there in 30 minutes". Then Nataly answers the phone and replies "Is he meeting that bikini ladies also? Hmm, I don't think I want to deal with that". My young interpreter friend and I head for the meeting with Alla at a nearby outdoor patio cafe. She arrives, she is nice, but right away there just isn't any chemistry. Alla tells me about her husband who was killed in the Russia/Afghan war. She has a 2 page list of questions and proceeds to survey me. I can see she is a "veteran" of the dating club scene. I am polite and answer all the questions. I leave with Alla to get some desert at one of her favorite spots nearby. She wants to go out somewhere that evening, but I just say "no, thanks for asking".

The next morning I go do some sightseeing. Believe it or not, I forget about my lunch date. After lunch I check my notes and notice the 1pm meeting with Ms Bikini Girl. It is 1:05 then and I hurry over to the Italian restaurant in the Passage area of central Kiev. I'm casually dressed my jeans, western boots, and a black leather jacket. No time to change, I get there at 1:15. She is sitting at a table near the door, drinking tea. I see she is a bit upset at me being late as she first frowns, but she stands up and gives a friendly "Hallo". She is dressed to the nines, with a full length leopard skin coat draped around her shoulders. Obviously one of the most lovely ladies in Ukraine. We talk a little, and she tells me her parents are major stars in the theatre.....I will keep confidential and not say anything else about her.

We call the agency and they say they finally were able to contact Nataly, the apparent "plain Jane". Our meeting will be at 4pm. I can't imagine how many "hoops the agency jumped through" to drag Nataly into the meeting so they could make another $20 for the meeting. But she showed up,dressed neatly, and looked better in person than her photos. She seemed to resist every question, giving a short answer. At the end of the interview we shook hands, exchanged emails, and left separately. I was a bit surprised she also left her phone number on the note. I called that evening just to talk a little more. First thing she says is "are you positive you like me?". I try to explain we only met for 30 minutes, and I would like to know her better. Again she asks " are you absolutely sure I am the one for you?". I say I am not sure yet. She says she is busy that night and ends the conversation.

Sorry for getting "off topic" but someone asked, so I answered.

I think Alena, Solarb, and OlgaUA all have it right. I have only dated women in their 40's, (I've traveled to UA 3X). All were honest, I sent them money, and they handled the arrangements for trains, an apartment, and met me at the airport in Kiev and Simferopol. The fact that it didn't work out was for the same reason they don't here in the states. I am now talking w/a woman from Moscow. We will see what happens. But, other than how she smells, kisses, and all the other issues related to proximity, there is no impediment to getting to know her. Solarb is correct. Whether it's Skype, mobile phones, LP Chat, or emails, we are spending much time becoming familiar with each other.

I think it unwise to anticipate a talk fest when you meet if you do not have a language in common. I speak a little Russian, but smiles can only communicate so much if you plan on spending a week together.

I would never see multiple women. I think it is disrespectful. And I'm not about to make the trip on the hopes I may like someone. I've already determined that before I go. This is not play for me.

Fred

>I think that for this purpose there are special companies.
Hi Olga,

I always had a more entertaining time dealing with interpreters who were just young ladies doing it as part-time jobs rather than the commercialized professionals. It is sad that there is so much dishonesty and scams.

My travels were 7 to 10 years ago. I have seem in forums people talk of how things are "different" in the last couple of years due to the many tourists, gypsies, tramps, and thieves who have "now discovered" the internet dating scene in Ukraine and Russia. But even in 2000 I sensed that many ladies were weary of the tourists and foreigners passing through. But I greatly enjoyed visits to Kyiv and then started inviting ladies only from the outer cities to meet me in Kyiv. It took me only one trip to Moscow to decide I didn't want to gamble my paycheck on another lady from Moscow or even St. Pete. I sure there are thousands of fine ladies in those 3 cities, but I would rather take my chances somewhere else.

I understand you are from Lugansk? How would you describe the situation in your city? There is always a shortage of quality men to date, and always will be. But are the sex tourists and other losers passing through your city? Are the ladies getting tired of it? If so, what year would you say that began?

Dear fredabishop thank you for your post...really it is very important for girls to understand that there are normal adequate and noble men in the internet and it is possible to find her especial. Maybe it will take some time to find him but nevertheless when there is a hope it is much more easy to look for. I was very upset by the words of rogerm222 and was ready to stop any search - I don't think that to be a doll for a week is the great dream of every woman and it doesn't matter with money or with out.

Hi rogerm222, hate you! After your words my confidence that internet is a rather good way to find "my man" is much less.
ok about your questions:
You see I am a pharmacist not the professional searcher. I know nothing about the situation with sex tourists and other losers in my city. As for me I didn't get tired of it - you think it can be tiresome? I didn't try - maybe it is really so. I know nothing about other ladies in my town also - they tell me nothing about their private life.
As for quality men in my town - all whom I know are all high quality men (my co-workers) - but I can't understand why they are all married Where to find unmerried I don't know...at the museum, at the library? to travel much I can't because of "average salary" to visit pubs I don't like - here I can find only drunks. So I have a hope if any man is going to come with visit it can mean that he comes only to me because I am interesting to him. My town is small and industrial and not interesting for tourists...theise are my thoughts maybe they are right.

Olga,

I am curious to know what you and the other girls consider to be a "quality man"? You use this term often. What is it that you and other ladies consider makes a man "quality" ?

I can't explain what is to be a "high quality men"...moreso it is certainly very subjective...everyone wants to find somebody very special for her...as for me I am still in search only because I know 3 examples so I am 50% sure the love is possible:
1) they are my neighbours (in Lugansk) not friends so I don't know them very well - they are near 30 or 35...they were good friends (I don't know were they lovers or not before the accident)...once she went at work but got a great blow on the head and was robed...she was at the hospital lost the opportunity to speak and move. The boy made a desicion to marry her. You can imagin all relatives were in shoke. Doctors didn't give any garanties she would be ever ok. He fed her from spoon and tought to speak from the begining...They are still together 3 years already she is better now...but I am not sure she is at work.
I think he is a high quality men and she is a lucky woman to find him.
I don't think he waits that his woman shall provide the family.
2) he is an american man...

Olga! wow that is a true love story that brought a tear to my eye, my best wishes to your neighbors.........Bravo!

I feel so bad for her but I expect she is happy she has a great husband who provides for her needs and will stay by her side. impressive story! Yes good example High Quality Man!

Hi I would like to share my experiences and add my 2 cents about this Russian Bride internet dating.
Other than Solarb I think the rest of us are here because we're lonely and want to change that situation. To me that means I have to take chances that I normally wouldn't. Those chances include sending money, corresponding with women that are to young, to pretty and just plain out of my league.
I went to Odessa a couple of years ago on one of those single tours. Being a rather shy guy or at least the opposite of a “player”I invited one lady to spend the week with me. She was a nice woman from Mariupol, early forties, and we had exchanged hundreds of letters and a few phone calls over the previous six months. She asked if I would send her money for a plane ticket to Odessa which was no problem for me. I think I even included some money for English lessons. As the trip approached I really had a bad feeling about my choice of women but it was just a “gut” feeling. Upon my arrival at the hotel who was this lady waiting for me? The woman I was corresponding with was 5'5” 105 lbs and the woman in my room was 5'2” 150lbs. And I could see in her eyes she wasn't to impressed with me either. Anyway I got her an appt. for the week. We spent everyday together trying to make the best of it. But we just had no chemistry. Even then I really think she was willing to pursue this farther. Not for love but just so she could get to the US. When the end of the week came she got back on the train and returned home. What happened to to that plane ticket I'll never know.
In hindsight I enjoyed my time in Odessa but I wish I would have done what the rest of the guys were doing, dating 3-5 women a day.
Being one that must be a little slow in the head (but a great sense of self deprecating humor) I still put a profile on some other sites. Of course I got the standard form letter from the ladies and I returned a few too. Somewhere in there I got an email from Lover's Planet telling me about this sight. After a quick stroll through the site I joined for 6 months.
Somewhere along the line I started corresponding with a gem. Bought a new computer so I could get Skye and Msn. We chatted often, got a very good feel for each other and after 6 months she agreed to a 11 day vacation in Spain( yes her own room was rather spendy). But why would I want to go to northern Russia in October? We had a great time together, great chemistry and all in all a great trip for both of us.
Tanya will try and come for a visit next spring on a tourist visa. During that time we hope to spend a week or two in Cancun. Could this result in marriage? If she asks I would consider it but I really think she is happy in Russia so for the time being I very happy just having a new friend.
Tanya in my opinion is a very pretty sexy 41 yr old woman. On LP she received hundreds of letters but most of them were from kooks talking trash. Why can't most men on the internet write a nice letter and show these ladies a little respect.
Our age difference is 12 years and it's something I don't think would ever happen in the US. But with us I don't see it being a problem.
Anyway I wish everybody the best of luck in their journey. Remember it takes time and understanding. Also I welcome the ladies onto our forum. We can learn a lot from each other with just a little patience. Although I'm no longer a member here I do enjoy just lurking around.
Bruce

Way to go, Pete. That is a wonderful summation of what may be a very common situation. Yours is one of the best posts I have read in this forum. I agree with your assessment that we men are able to reach "out of our league" to women who are younger, more beautiful, and more of everything than we would find in our own back yard. I tried US dating sites and took 50 women to lunch or dinner over a period of several years. One in 50 was a good candidate but there was no chemistry. That's why we like this system. I'm not a player either, Pete, but I'm a "catch" on this site because I have what a large percentage of people in the world want: financial stability and citizenship in a fantastic country. We had some students (married couple in their 20's) over for dinner tonight...a full Thanksgiving spread. The wife acts like she does not like the US, but she is just acting out her jealousy (I like her, by the way). Her life as a US visitor is a dream compared to being in frigid Yakutsk. No train. Only one road that connects to a major population center 800 miles away. That road is impassible much of the time due to winter or mud. A city of 200,000 that operates from an airport. Besides -40 weather and cyclones, they have fog, too. So much for air commerce being easy. I'm proud of you Pete for the adventure you have made of this. I won't be surprised if you marry this woman and live happily ever after. Great post.

Pete ,
I think internet dating isnt for the faint hearted (unless your a player) its a long road and can be a little disheartning at times. Ive been very fortunate and like pete i learned very quickly that having skype makes a big difference. I spoke to quite a few women from russia and ukraine then one young women contacted me in about july and we spoke nearly every day until i finally managed to arrange to visit for 2 weeks. We spent a week in kiev in an apartment which she found and arranged and then a week in antalya (turkey) a little difficult with language to start with (and she speaks pretty good basic english ,better than my russian ....da !) but easier as time went by. Needless to say im going back on thursday to spend time in here home city of Dneprepotrovsk and have a visit with her parents in zaporizyha.
My point for me is that i think had i not spoke in skype and on the telephone as well as instant chat i dont think i would have made the trip....too many uncertainties so anyone who does make a sort of blind trip i can understand ,me personally i wouldnt take the risk.

Now i know this is probably out of the question for some of the women on here but i would urge as many as possible to communicate via web cam and skype or icq etc. I think the success rate would improve for both parties and i also believe that a degree of chemistry can be built by talking in skype. It is a suggestion i offer for all those genuine women because if like me ,my experience of ukraine / russian women has been nothing but pleasure and for me has become a life changing experience which i have no regrets about and i hope more have the same success i have had.
Good luck to all

Wow boys, I have one more story for you. Maybe interesting, maybe not...but just a point of view to think about
It was an article in dec 2008 or jan 2009 written at our professional magazine «Apteka»...this magazine prints only special and sience information so it was printed because to warn all other companies which work with the company Ratiopharm that changes can take place at the pharm market.

So in short the article is about (sorry but I am writing as I remember)...He was the owner of the great Germany pharm company Ratiopharm...to say that he was rich means to say nothing — he was VERY RICH — many daughter companies all over the world (certainly in Russia and Ukraine also) moreso he also had the factories which produces building materials — I think milliarder. As he lived not far from the office he didn't use the car but went to the work by bicycle, had 7 suits — one for every day. So in 2008 he bought the Shares of the company Volkswagen car (I can be mistaken with the name of the company — don't remember well)...because of the crises It was the wrong decision and he has lost the money ....ok he lost VERY big money. How much could it be? - millions and millions. I think he still could use his bicycle, put on his 7 suits, had his house and was not hungry....but he KILLed himself after he had lost the money.
hmmmm... who was happy? what for did he need money?
I was impressed. I think I will never understand the men's logic.

Hi everyone I'm a long time reader of these forums and this is my first post.

I just wanted to say to Olga that you shouldnt get down on finding your soulmate online (after reading rogerm222's post). I know many people who have met their significant others online and who are happily married. Even my mother met her husband online and she has been happily married for the past 8 years. With that being said, we all have to remember that online dating sites arent going to be
any different then dating in real life.

There are always going to be liers, and cheaters and people useing people to get what they want. The whole purpose of these websites is to give us
a tool to search for someone we are more compatible with and gives us an opportunity to look outside the box we live in. I personaly am attracted to european woman becuase I feel they are more family oriented, polite, respectful and more caring then american woman. European woman also take pride in themselves are very educated and have ambition.

Nothing in life is insured. People are going to have good experiences and bad ones. I enjoy reading everyone's input and their stories, but dont base your chances on finding the right person for you because of someone elses badluck and misfortunes. Relationships are like a casino, you can win big or lose big but you have to play the game for a chance to win. With that being said goodluck to everyone and and I hope you all find that special someone.

svit38
Good post!
Thank you!

rogerm222 don't be angry with me! women are emotional.
I am foolish...if I don't want to hear that men use women it doesn't mean that such situations are impossible. Instead to take your words and put them to the mind I was upset. But we have got several posts and now it is clear that there are not only bad experiences but good also
So friends??