Men? Why are you on this site?

If you read the Forum you've seen my solarb screen name a few times. I've found a wonderful wife and daughter through LoversPlanet and, as you can tell, I still enjoy watching this site. I spend hours of each day on the computer so it is very easy for me to check LP and see who is visiting. I'm always wondering why more marriages and "happily ever afters" aren't showing up. Men, do you care to comment? Why are you here? Are you not finding what you are looking for? Is it so scary to fly off to Moscow or Kiev and then connect to a domestic flight to meet your woman? Is the cost factor holding you back? Are you disappointed with the mail responses you are getting? If we get 10 or 20 honest replies to this query we will all learn something about what is going on here.

In response to Solarbs post. LP is the first dating site i have been on and is very good indeed.In the short time i have been on this site i have had at least one hundred women write to me,an impossible task to answer all for obvious reasons.
For me personally i can only write and concentrate on one lady at a time,it takes a lot of effort and time to build a confidence with these women.This can take months to do and you are not really guaranteed she is the RIGHT one until you meet.I think the problem then, is how many women are truly serious about actually moving from their country?l think this percentage is low, coupled with language barriers and the time and money visiting their country would put a lot of guys off.These i think are the main reasons that the happy endings are few and far between.
It really is like playing Russian roulette,there are genuine women out there but are hard to find.I speak from experience as i visited a lady twice in Ukraine,this did not work out for the above reasons as she never had any intention of leaving her country in the first place.Have any other guys experienced these sort of problems???

Thanks, Anton, for the excellent answer. I went to Russia twice 16 years ago when we used to communicate by letter (1 month in each direction). The first lady was very young. She said she sent in her bio more as a hobby than as something serious. She had a drawer full of letters, but mine were the only ones she and her mother took seriously. About half of the others were poorly written and some were even a little trashy. After I returned home she wrote that if I would give her 2 years she would come to America. I wondered if that was written at her parents' urging. At any rate, I did not communicate with her anymore. A year later I met another woman in Moscow and went by train to her home in central Russia. I decided right away that I didn't feel the chemistry. That added stress to my week with her very nice family, but I still consider both trips to have been worthwhile. My third effort (many years later through LoversPlanet) was successful. I know 3 women through my wife who would definitely come to the US for the right man. One of them is pretty far along with an American and might be meeting him in the next few months. Good luck! Here's proof of my success: www.chippynews.com/ct.htm

Thanks solarb for your reply!I totally agree with what you say in your last post.It is true,you certainly need persistance in this type of dating game and further to what i mentioned in my last post i am due to travel to St.petersburg in a few weeks so who knows what will happen!For sure these women are all different and you should not be put off if a meeting does not go to plan but instead put it down to experience and use it to your advantage on meeting the RIGHT one maybe next time!!!!!

Readers of forum have seen my posts several times. Although I am happily married to a LoversPlanet woman, I work from home and use my computer all day. Therefore, I have lots of opportunitites to check LP and see what is happening. I enjoy this hobby and am a booster for all men/women who want to make it work. Women send me messages from time to time telling me they like my message (which is still posted). It says clearly that I am happily married and gives some background, similar to my posts on forum. Today I clicked on a young woman whose picture caught my eye. She had 4 or 5 pics and they were, artistically speaking, the best I have seen on this site (nothing sexy, by the way). Some lucky man will find her and I hope they will both live happily ever after. From reading her profile, I get the impression that her English is close to perfect. Quite a catch!

I'm on this site to find a wife. But until now ALL the women I found interesting are either not real or they don't answer. That's one big reason I hesitate to pay for any emails. I have been to Russia, and believe me, they are so beautiful.

Perhaps one of them will see this message and try to contact me.
You are very fortunate! I hope to find the right girl on this site soon.
I am more than happy to book a trip with this site and pay them money,
if they help me find someone special.

Michael Bellamy

Michael (mishenka), I can't see your profile but I am astonished that you are not getting answers from these women. Do your messages sound anything like this? "Dear _____: My name is Michael and I live in __________, which is in the Central (insert the correct region) US. I don't know what letters you have received from other men, but I am on this site to find a serious, loving relationship. I have read many profiles and your short message captured my attention. I like your photos, as well. Some of my interests are (interest 1), (interest 2) and (interest 3), but I am flexible and am very interested in making my new wife happy...so If I have to make a few changes, I am open to that. We will have some language and cultural differences, but if you are seeking an honest, loyal, hard-working and romantic man I'm sure we can communicate. I look forward to hearing from you." How are your pictures? Are they clear? Are they interesting? To they tell something about you or your life? Go through your profile and make sure it is clear and somewhat interesting. I wish you great luck!

Thank you SolarB, yes, that is my profile.

So far I have received mostly messages from women that are eventually banned
from the site.

A friend of mine found a girl on here and sent her $5000, only to find out that she
is a he and a very nasty scam as well. My friend found out by sending E-Blaster
to the "lady" when he - she - it disappeared after wiring the money to him-them etc.

I'm sure this site has good people on it, but since 2005 I have been a member and not
one girl has convinced me of her honesty. I keep coming back to see if it has gotten
any better. I have even asked the site owners if they would help me arrange a trip
to meet some of the ladies. My intentions are quite sincere. I am a single father of
a beautiful 6 year old daughter (Natasha). There are NO ties whatsoever between us
and the paternal mother. Perhaps you can give me some tip?

Michael, I'd love to help. I think LoversPlanet will give you my direct email. I hereby authorize that. I'd like to see what you say in your emails to these women. I got scammed once (NOT from a LoversPlanet lady). Then I saw a clip on the Dr. Phil show that specifically discussed scams by Russian and Eastern European men posing as women. That very day -- 3 years ago -- I found LP and chose Lyuda (now my wife) as the first woman I would write. She was younger than the age group I had in mind, but I liked her profile and photos. Maybe you are not good at reading between the lines in the profiles. I have gotten many messages from LP women other than Lyuda and they all strike me as sincere. Lyuda and I got help from 2 ladies on this site when Lyuda got stuck in Moscow for several week during the visa process. I love these women. That is why I visit this site so often and try to help. The story about your daughter Natasha is touching. Is there a Russian connection or is her name a coincidence? I live in Florida. Call or write using the contact info from LP. Have you seen the site with photos of the China trip Lyuda and I took in 2007? The URL is posted under Success Stories.

Dear men!
It's really very interesting question - why you are here, on this site???
I read all topics this forum and see that you like only moan that you are so unhappy and all was scammed and etc etc
(Only Solarb happy and try to help you.)
What for you here??? To give alot of doubts for another men?

Hi, Alena. I agree that we see a lot of negative posts. But hundreds of other men visit the forums and don't post anything (I think some of the negative comments discourage them from adding their own comments). The people with bad experiences want to express themselves to "get it off their chests," as we say in English. Many others are writing back and forth with their favorite woman and don't have time for the Forum. Lyuda just called me for lunch! Life is good.

Hello Solarb!
Thank you for all your comments, but only you write positive post and when I read mens forum I start to be very upset. Where is another happy men? hey hey hey??? Is it better or easier to put here negative posts?
I'll write only my success story here and maybe other men will see that it work and will find right women for themselves.
Wake up, happy men, and leave here your posts please, because other men need them very much

If I knew so much about this topic, I would not be here...I am a bit confused.....I speak for me only and always.

If I had a wife, and we met at a dating site, and we got together and were together and loved each other..I would have no reason to return to that site for any purpose. I would contact those I wanted as friends, and then cancel the subsciption. If I want a friend and I trust who I speak to, I give them my home email address. It is just that simple. The time I spend here after I have my mate is questionable at best. It is not a trust issue. How could I really love if it was a trust issue...These sites can really be addictive. For me, to patter away at the keyboard while I could be doing something with my love (If I had one...)would be selfish, non-productive, and merely "getting my fix." I am also not a pontificator to tell others anything to do. I do not give my opinions on how someone else should live the life they have...I also have been to Ukraine ..Counting, I have been to 6 continents..no Antartica, thank you...What I would give to have THE woman with me.traveling and living life..all of life...Count your blessings everyone and happy holidays. I have read the words of only 1 person here who understands this I think...And I hope she understands who I speak of...My wife will get my attention, my time, my love..and if I meet 100 people here that are wonderful, wise and willing to write me at my personal email...great. otherwise, I would have no business peeking into other peoples business...Again, I speak for me. No replies to my thoughts are needed..be well

"a lot of negative posts"
I haven't seen a "lot of negative posts". I see very few posts of any kind. Is there a FAQ which says only positive experiences should be mentioned? There were 3 men who said they recently were traveling to meet a lady(s). Before traveling they posted many messages. Since their trip, we have heard little or nothing from them. Why? I would be interested in hearing about their trip, good, bad, exciting, or boring. First trips can have many problems and disappointment..

'hundreds of other men visit the forums and don't post anything"
I would guess over 90% have probably not made a trip yet. The 10% who did travel probably did not meet with the success they were dreaming of. The few who achieved their goal are busy with more important things.

Rogerm222, you see what are you writing about? 90% ,10% and only a few men who achieved their goal....
I think that you, men, should read womens forum - there is alot of women who have found right men on this site and very happy now.
Maybe russian women more positive? though we also have some bad experiences but we try to support each other on our forum.
I wish you do it also and hope to see your success story here soon

P.S. If I'd write here my negative experiences you would was crying but I'm sure that I'll be happy