Back in the Saddle Again - Dating Again After Ending a Relationship

Regardless if your relationship ended one month or one year ago, eventually you will want to get back into the dating scene again. However, if you've been hurt in the past, you may be a little hesitant to meet new people. But, it doesn't have to be this way. Dating can be exciting and adventurous as we learn about someone new. And, with some clarity, and by taking the initial step back into the dating world, you'll find that dating can be a lot of fun. The biggest thing to remember is to view your past relationships as growth opportunities, where you have become much wiser because of it.

Below are nine tips to make this transition easier.

  1. Establish exactly what you are looking for. You've been through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Okay, so the relationships didn't work out, but now you've become clearer on exactly what you want in a partner. The best way to clarify this is to write it out, break it down into sections and make a list of the person you are looking for including, personality, beliefs, values, family relationships, and how you expect to be treated. Leave nothing out. It's important to be very clear about what you want.

  2. Look deep within and define why you want a relationship. Is it to fill a void or are you looking for someone you can truly connect with on every level? When we know what our intentions are, then we can attract the right relationship to satisfy us.

  3. Leave the past behind. What happened in the other relationships should hold no bearing on the next one. You've learned from the past, and have grown stronger because of it. Go into the next relationship with a better understanding of yourself, and make sure to keep your heart open.

  4. Pace yourself. Determine what speed you wish to date at. If you're not ready to go full-force, don't do it. Listen to what your gut tells you.

  5. Look for love in all the right places. Go to locations that are perfect for finding someone close to your beliefs-this may mean joining a club, organization, yoga class, cooking class, or whatever else sparks your interest. There are no expectations when in a group setting. You can slowly get to know people as you continue to meet on a regular basis.

  6. Allow the relationship to come into your life. Be open to dating-allow the best and expect the best.

  7. Believe. Coming out of a relationship can really put a damper on self-esteem. Just remember that this is a stepping stone to creating your life's journey. Believe that only the best will happen. Even if you don't whole-heartedly believe it, fake it till you make it.

  8. Go for it! Maybe you have your eye on someone but you're unsure if you should ask them out. You won't know until you give it a try. The worst that can happen is they say 'no'. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Just keep going-this person may be going through his/her own emotional healing and may not be ready to date.

  9. Remember to have fun! That's what it's all about, isn't it?

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